Hey, what, who?

Hey, kids!  I know you've been jonesin' for something to read and I've been pretty busy until now, but wait no longer.  It's time for another rendition of mini-rants.

Mini-Rant#1:  What's with the song, "My Humps?"  Humps???  You mean boobs, right?  Why the hell would I want to associate those wonderful things with camels?!  "Lovely lady lumps???"  First off that sounds like a cancerous growth.  But really, when I prefer to alliterate, I would call them "free-hanging funbags."  Sweater pillows is also a term of supreme endearment.  Knockers and juggs are a close second.  "Nice Knockers," that's a good name for a song.  And it makes you think.

Mini-Rant#2:  School's almost done.  It's about fucking time.

Mini-Rant#3:  Christmas vs. Holidays.  God-fucking-dammit, this topic has come up on all the news shows lately and it's really pissing me off.  Stores promote their sales as holiday sales instead of Christmas sales and it's got Christians all in a uproar.  They think the holiday is being stolen from them by the media and advertising because of the more P.C. term. 

Shut the fuck up.  Honestly, Christians, what don't you get?  Not everybody celebrates Christmas.  If a company wants to be more inclusive, that's their right.  If they want to use the word, "Christmas," that is also their right.  The government has to use more inclusive words, regardless of what bullshit they spew about the founding fathers.  They're representing entire communities.  Target is a commercial entity.  They represent their stockholders.  If they think being more P.C. will get them a few more bucks, then let 'em do it.  Don't get all uppety because it isn't what you like.

And don't start with the stupid bullshit downfall of civilization talk.  You're going to the store to buy an X-Box!  Are you doing that in the lord's name?  No???

Then shut the fuck up.

Mini-Rant#4:  I don't like that it's cold.  My hands are freezing.  I turn the heat on.  And now I'm burning up.  You can't fucking win.

Mini-Rant#5:  I hate Christmas songs.  That's right, I said Christmas songs.  Who are we kidding, that's what they're about.  I can't stand them because they all manage to put me to sleep.  They're totally emotionless and boring.  It's the same old crap all day long on stations like KyXy. 

There are a few exceptions though.  Elvis's "Blue Christmas", Perry Como(Correction: Bing Crosby) and David Bowie doing "Little Drummer Boy" and that's about it. 

Anything by Johnny Mathis blows.  He blows.  Fuck 'Em!

And that's how it ends, folks!  I'm actually in a pretty good mood, for an asshole... :-P Pbbbbth!!!