Just G.O. Away...

I woke up today and turned on ESPN News as I often do, only to find my least favorite subject as the breaking headline of the day, Terrell Owens.  Apparently, he may or may not have attempted suicide last night.  He denies it, the police report says otherwise.  Blah, blah, dee, fuck, dah...

I am so sick of hearing about this guy.  He makes Shaq seem anonymous.  It's repulsive and it's retarded.

And shame on ESPN for only furthering T.O.'s "everybody look at me" agenda.  He is not daily news.  He has never won anything.  ESPN is not supposed to beAccess Hollywood.

I'm not a football fan so I'm already in a bad mood about ESPN's (otherwise known as the Football Channel) constant coverage of the barbaric, overly complicated, penalty-riddled sport.  But the incessant "will he play or won't he" is verging on soap opera tabloid territory.

I don't have a solution to the problem.  It's not my job.  But if I had a "disappear" button, you can guess who'd be getting out of sight right about now... 

Well, him and Jack Johnson.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Perhaps this is the answer to SOME of my questions...

Finish the statements:

1. The last person I kissed: is not worth mentioning.

2. Never in my life have I: gotten the respect I deserve.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can eventually manage to make me smile: is women. Generally speaking, of course.

4. High School is: in the past, so it should be was. High school was a lot more fun than I give it credit.

5. When I'm nervous I: burp and yawn a lot. That's real, Cuz.

6. The last time I cried was: stupid.

7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/bestman would be: more surprised than I would be.

9. My hair: is better kept short. Maverick style!

10. When I was 5: I was bouncing around this country looking for a home.

11. Last Christmas: "I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away." How true that was...

12. When I turn my head left: I see a china ball, as opposed to a chinaman's balls, which would be superfluous.

13. I should be: doing something productive. Senioritis lives!

14. When I look down, I see: 'bout the biggest pair you've ever seen, dingleberry!

15. The craziest recent event was: I went into the bathroom and I could see a dog lying down in the handicapped stall. It was a seeing-eye-dog but it was very interesting out of context.

16. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: Chandler. Ross, when I get emo.

17. By this time next year: I'll be in Hollywood living "The Dream" i.e. getting some asshole his coffee.

18. Current Relationship Status: Single as a Pringle that's lookin' to mingle so give me a jingle. God, I should be doing Dr. Scholl's ads...

19. I have a hard time understanding: women, politicians, and math.

20. One time at a family gathering: I stuck a flute in my pussy. If you didn't see that coming, there's a dog in the bathroom looking for you.

21. You know I "like" you if: I go out of my way to talk to you. I realize now that I am easy to read despite my best efforts to appear suave.

23. Take my advice: there is no god. It's just you and me and we're not going anywhere.

24. My ideal breakfast is: quiet.

25. If you visit the place where I grew up: you should say "Hi" to the people that live there.

26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: life.

27. If you spend the night at my house: you are a saint and I'll love you forever. That sounds really sad if you take it seriously. But I am offering. Huh, huh???

28. I'd stop my wedding if: you showed me a picture of our future kids. That's cold and untrue.

29. The world could do without: money. Seriously.

30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than date: celibate, pro-life, racist, drunk, pessimistic, war mongering debutantes. Now, their mothers on the other hand...

31. Most recent thing i've bought myself: is a soda.

32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: is food.

33. My favorite blonde is: me.

34. My favorite brunette/redhead is: Catherine Bell and I can't explain why. I just don't know.

36. The last time I was drunk: I became Drunken Morty Jones. Beware the harp seals!

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Elephants. Tell me you didn't love Dumbo!

38. I shouldn't have been: gifted with such intelligence. It's really hindering my ability to get laid.

39. Once, at a bar: a guy spilled his drink on my crotch. I should have killed him. Lesson learned.

40. Last night I: don't remember.

41. There's this girl I: oughta find out there. She's great for me. Anybody know 'er? 'Cause I don't.

42: I don't know: 'er, remember?

43. A better name for me would be: Beetleburt.

44. If I ever go back to school I'll: have lost the will to live.

45. How many days until my birthday?: 30 exactly. The countdown begins...

46. What I really want for Valentine's Day is: to not be blogging this year.

47. I'm wearing: glasses. My eyes are too lazy for contacts.

48. Tomorrow I am: gonna sit around because I can.

49. The last thing I ate was: a quesadilla.

50. I really want to learn: "what love is. I want you show me!!!"

More Questions!

1. You and Jesus go out to dinner--who pays?
Nobody. Jesus turns pulls bread and fishes out from behind my ear like an unimpressive uncle.

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias--what is it?
Tony Garcia. I totally look it too.

3. Pick one state in the US to get rid of permanently.
Texas. He gone!

4. Skywalker or Solo?
Han Solo. He gets the bitches. And the motherfucker shot Greedo. COLD-BLOODED!

5. Toy you always wanted as a kid but never got?
An astrojump. I always had to crash parties instead.

6. Top 3 celebrities you wanna do : ____________
Jessica Simpson, Jessica Biel, and Salma Hayek. Now, go. Make it happen.

7. What's an automatic deal breaker in a significant other?
Hyper-religious. I should also say a penis, right?

8. What's the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
Signs. I get chills re-telling it.

9. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
I love you! But it's like, stupid-haha.

10. You're sentenced to death and it's execution day. What's your last meal?
An entire giant pizza with pepperoni and RC Cola. Duh.

11. What's something most people do that you've never done?
Drugs.

12. Before you die you want to go to...?
Heaven. You know, to see if I like it first.

13. Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
Kick a president in the nuts.

14. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
A grizzly bear. Aw, just look at 'em...

15. One drug you'll never try?
Comfortable ignorance.

16. If you were an animal, which one would you be?
A grizzly bear. Just look at 'em...

17. If you had to marry someone you knew at age 12, who would it be?
Nicole Duque. I think she really got me. I could be wrong.

18. First celebrity crush?
Alyssa Milano. She's the boss.

19. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits, and abilities?
Broad sword. Heavy, clumsly, wonderfully crafted but will cut you clean in half.

20. Favorite breakfast bread style?
Cereal style?

21. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?
When it ends. I don't like turkey. Birds are weird.

22. Sport you hate the most?
Horse racing.

23. What city in the US do you want to visit the most?
Las Vegas. Who's with me???

24. What's something do you think it'd be sweet to know?
How to get people to pay closer attention to what they say and make sure they mean in.

25. Favorite actor/actress?
Tom Cruise/Audrey Tautou.

26. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
Awesomely Bad. Go fuck yourself.

27. What makes an awesome party?
Friends, enthusiasm, babes, lots of chairs.

28. What's your material obsession?
DVDs. Gotta have 'em, hopefully I'll watch 'em.

29. What's something most people would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
I'm quiet. Most people should really shut up more.

30. Favorite kind of dog?
Bulldog.

31. Favorite carnival food?
Cinammon Rolls.

32. Morning or night person?
The moon doesn't burn.

33. Worst drunken or drugged up habit?
Being "creepy sober guy."

34. Weirdest eBay purchase?
None. I don't use it often.

35. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
I like to eat food. It's good. You're dumb.

36. It's 3 a.m. on Saturday. What are you doing?
Either bullshitting or sleeping.

37. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
You can't make me choose!

38. Worst job you've ever had?
Phone surveys. Yuck.

39. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Butch makes fun of my misunderstanding of obscure vocabulary words to help him deal with the fact that I tower over him physically.

40. Favorite cereal?
Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious.

41. Book you could read repeatedly?
The Lord of the Rings. It'll take a while but still...

42. Tell an interesting story about the last person to fill this out.
Butch is like the brother I should've had.

Do I have the Cooties?

Because, by all rights, there is no good reason why I am this single.

Seriously, it's weirding me out now.

What gives?

I mean, why can't I be this happy?

Schoolio

Hey kids!  So I finished my first week of the home-stretch of my collegiate career.  I must say I'm somewhat worried about how hard it's going to be and how much time I'm going to have to spend on stuff.

The week started off in Editing with the Man, the Myth, the Legend: Greg Durbin (or El Durbino, as I've taken to calling him).  It was like old-times.  I listened, I nearly fell asleep, the projector didn't work, and I heckled.  I love to heckle.  It should be a fun enough class but I will need hard-drive space like crazy.  I'm not sure if I should go out and buy one or not...

Day 2 (as in Tuesday) began a little earlier.  I got down to campus and waited over a half hour to speak to my advisor.  I got all my credits worked out (so I willgraduate, or someone dies...) and enrolled in a special studies course. 

I'm basically taking Directing again.  It was a blast the first time and I've got Pete Larlham again (my jolly british prof., who still remembers me over a year later).  I walked into a much fuller class than my previous one and sat down immediately.  I took a breath and then looked around and sure enough, hey, people I know!  Shawn Johnson (of the 'Retard-Kite movie' fame) is in the class as well.  When I sat down next to him, he said, "I'm glad someone else is here that is as reserved as me."  Little does he know that I acted in our final scene in my previous class and a few other projects.  That and I can be a nut-ball at times.  I assured him that the class is fun and Peter began merrily as ever.

During some discussion about good films, Peter asked if anyone had scene a good comedy lately.  I fully expected someone to yell out "Beerfest!" or something and I said "Snakes on a Plane" quietly to myself and Shawn.  But then a girl towards the back says, "Steve Martin's The Jerk!"  I instantly love her.  Peter asked about recent comedies, she throws out one from 1979 which also happens to be one of my Top 10 films. 

How awesome is that?  "Very awesome," you would have said had you been there.

After class I turned in some forms and got the hell out of that heat furnace that is SDSU at 2pm.  Seriously, this heat must be stopped.

Wednesday.  I have no classes on Wednesday, therefore it was not exciting.

On Thursday, I was supposed to go to the Theatre dept. auditions as a replacement for Directing (Peter is casting a play).  I SOoo blew that.  See, we were having our roof re-done at my house so there were dudes hammering on the roof at 8am and the dogs were barking at them, so my sleep was far from pleasant.  I wasn't absent though because there was no roll or sign-in sheet at the auditions.

I did stroll down to campus for my next class, Advanced Film.  I got to the Comm building and talked to folks like Rian (the Hawaiian) about his movie I'll be producing.  We get into class and we've got a professor that few of us are familiar with, Richard Taylor.  Besides professoring, he's a producer at Cox Cable Channel 4.  He's also got some radical ideas.  Instead of pitching our ideas and picking the best 5 to make into short films, he wants us to make (wait for it... wait for it...) 18 short films!  That's 1 for every student.  The man is nuts but he slowly sold most of us on the idea. 

At the very least, I get my movie made no matter what.  It's going to cost me more but it'll get made.  I also get to use people from outside the class in my main crew, i.e. DP (hehe) and editor.  That's cool.  We're still gonna pitch next week just to see what people have in mind and we might still go back to the 5 movies thing but I doubt that.  We'll see.

So Friday morning comes around I roll out of bed at 7am.  I do not like this.  I get to my Screenwriting class and re-introduce myself to Jamie.  She's back after a semester in Aussieland and summer in Europe.  We sit in our overly cramped classroom and I don't even notice Erik (my cohort from 2 of last semester's cinemasplorations, and bass player for Stolen) is in the class.  Like I said, it was crowded. 

Stuart (our prof.) talked at great length (which he's great at) about what we're gonna be doing this semester.  Mostly, I sat thinking about how much I'd like to sleep in on Fridays.  The class is gonna be a lot of work but not crazy-lots.  Stuart knows his shit so I look forward to his feedback on my written masterworks.

I left class with the intention of taking a nap but I didn't even blink funny until very late in the evening.

So that was my week and that shall be what my semester shall be like.  Ahem, yeah.  What you got on that?!  Nothin'.  I thought so.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!