Saturday, December 30, 2006

"Wrap It Up, A.B.!"

Hey, kids! Well 2006 is almost over so I figure it's a good time to get all nostalgic before I forget everything that happened. I also find that people really love award shows, so thanks to Aussie Stu for providing the format, I give you the 2006 Aaron Awardz (that's right, with a "Z"):

1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR (since I don't drink, these are just buddies)
the nominees are...
-Gerry
-Isaiah
-Butch
-Erik
and the winner is...Butch!
That was pretty predictable. Everybody's just gotta work harder. Call me, bitches!

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (not sure what kind of "service" this refers to, so I'm gonna say it means MySpace Friend I've known the longest)
and the nominees are...
-Omar
-Merilynn
-Rica
-Chrissy (disqualified 'cause we're family)
and the winner is... Rica!
Since 2nd grade, Rica has been 2nd to none. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist that pun.

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - NEWEST FRIENDS
and the nominees are...
-Jamaal
-Erik
-Doug
-Paul Cohen
and the winner is... Clay-Beaux!
Erik is everywhere. If not at checkout, he's on your film set rocking your sound gear. STOLEN!

4) MOST LOYAL FRIENDS?
I'm getting tired of figuring out the nominees. The winners are Butch, Merilynn, Isaiah, Gerry, Amanda M., Jamie, and Dan C. If I had to go to war, this'd be my squad. We'd probably all die but that'd be okay, I guess...?

5) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
My final filmie getting genuine laughs at the Film Festival. I couldn't have expected better.

6) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
The stress of it all. This year has appropriately the most trying of my 24. Sleep has been premium. Also, getting dumped twice (TWICE!!!) isn't fun. Damn, bitches.

7) BEST HOLIDAY?
My birthday weekend was pretty damned kickass. Christmas was also very groovy as usual.

8) ANTHEM FOR 2006?
The various songs that have been on my profile. I can't list them all, nor can I remember them all. You get the point though. They aren't chosen lightly.

9) ANY REGRETS?
Holding my tongue when I should've really let people "have it." Sometimes diplomacy is lamer than yelling and calling someone names that they deserve to be called.

10) BEST NIGHT OUT?
Halloween. "Turk, J.D., J.D., Turk..."

11) WORST NIGHT OUT?
New Year's Eve '05 after it became January 1st '06. Stood up and stuck outside a club as the ball dropped. Fucking awful. One of the worst nights of my life. Damned bitch...

12) WHO DID YOU SPEND YOUR VALENTINES WITH?
My... self, as always.

13) BEST RELATIONSHIP?
The ones with my friends.

14) WORST RELATIONSHIP?
Remember that heartwarming New Year's story I just told? Yeah,that one.

15) GAME OF THE YEAR?
The entire Cardinals post-season. They shocked the world. And me. Ye-ah!

16) HAVE YOU CHANGED A LOT IN THE LAST YEAR?
I've learned a ton, both through failure and mistakes. The fact that I continue to learn keeps it positive. I don't know if I've changed much beyond that.

17) WHAT IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT THING YOU LEARNED IN 2006?
To stand up for what I believe. If I'm being treated shitty, call it out. If I'm directing and something isn't quite working, call it out, it's my show in the end.  Also, ask for help.  You never know who can help you hugely.

18) RESOLUTION FOR NEXT YEAR?
I don't make resolutions. I'm just gonna try to do the things I need to do. I've got a lot ahead of me now. I mean, life and shit! I need to lose some lbs. (pronounced "lubs") for sure.

19) CD OF THE YEAR?
I'm way behind actual release dates but the nominees are...
-"Stadium Arcadium" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
-"Let's Ride Bikes" by Adam Powell
-"A Beautiful Lie" by 30 Seconds To Mars
and the winner is... "Let's Ride Bikes" by Adam Powell!
It's so good, I made it the soundtrack to my filmie. Adam Rocks!

20) FAVOURITE DRINK OF THE YEAR?
Diet Orange Sunkist. Kiss my ass, you drunkies.

21) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?
I don't have those.

22) BEST HANGOVER OF THE YEAR
Zero.

23) FIRST GIG OF THE YEAR?
Directing "Boundaries"...? It wasn't exactly a professional gig but it was an experience. Erik, Jamaal, Priscilla, and Isaiah can vouch for that. No lights, no rehearsal, shitty camera. It's what dreams were made of.

24) LAST GIG OF THE YEAR?
-Directing "Fred's Friend," my filmie. I wrote the sucker in '04 and finally got it made, through much trial and tribulation. Y'all know about it, y'all read about it. All's well that ends well, I hope.

25) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
Casting Josh as Fred in the filmie. It was a tough decision but I haven't regretted it once. Along the same lines, having Isaiah DP the project was also key. Filmie looks good, 'nuff said.

26) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Moving to L.A., making movies/TV on some level, not die, and maybe meet a lady. That oughta be enough for 1 year.

27) DOUCHE(S)/TWAT(S) OF THE YEAR?
Douches- Jesse Sotelo, Jack Johnson (it just needs to be said), President Bush and the like, Mission Beach PD, the bouncers at the Tavern, that fuckin' Marine who spilled his drink in my lap at Moondoggy's (ARGH!!!), Jeremy at the TFM group, Thomas Harris, Chris Bennett, Jen (kidding!), Mike Matusow, T.O., Donald Trump, and that's all I can think of for now (may be updated later).

Twats- Crazy bitches.

28) QUOTE THAT BEST SUMS UP THE YEAR
"You live, you learn, and hopefully, you don't get the clap."-Me

Monday, December 25, 2006

The Haul


Hey, kids!  It's been another ridiculously good Christmas with my family so I'd like to share what I got (as well as other good tidings) with you:
- Jedi Mickey doll from Disneyland
Completely Carlin DVD set
American Movie on DVD
Batman Begins 2-Disc DVD
Seinfeld Season 7 DVDs
Beavis and Butt-Head: The Mike Judge Collection DVD set
The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus 16-ton Megaset DVDs
1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die by Steven Jay Schneider
Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy PS2 Game
- Blockbuster Video Gift Set
- Scorpion Tactical Flashlight
- Craftsman Tool set for when I move to L.A.
- And an undisclosed amount of Cash
Yet again, my family has spoiled my to the utmost levels of rotten.  There truly are no words to express my gratitude.  They all seemed to love what I got them so hopefully that gets me close.
Also, I showed them my filmie and they were bonkers-in-love with it.  Good-times.
Anywhoo, I hope everybody is having a good break from whatever life has handed you and I hope you've been able to spend that break with people you love and care about. 
...I love you. 
Whoa, that was awkward.  High-Five!  :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Pickin' Bones


Hey kids!  Now that school is all over and I finished my Christmas shopping (in less than 4 hours, beat that!), it's time for me to get back to what I do best: Gripe about shit that doesn't really concern me!
-Retro Bullshit Music- This is perpetrated most apparently by Christina Aguilera.  Her new album sounds like some horrible 30s-style nonsense.  Even worse, it kinda sounds like "Mambo No.5".  LET'S MOVE THE FUCK ON!  It's 2006 and we're trying to rehash the 30s?!  Move forward!  Seriously, what is there to gain from re-living 70 years ago?  Nothing.  Create something new.  Gwen Stefani's new album may in fact be psychotic but at least it's progress.  Seriously, that girl is bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
-Chunky Soup Ads- First of all, I don't give a fuck what NFL players eat.  I just want to see them get out there and beat each other and maybe, just maybe, somebody leaves on a stretcher.  These are modest hopes, I know.  But these Chunky Soup commercials not only tell me what they eat to get "big and strong" but it also tells me that they rely on their mothers to feed them.  Because nothing says, "big and tough" like: Mom's gonna make me some meat-soup!
-Clerks II Credits- Hey for those of you that own the DVD and have really good eye-sight, you can find my name in the credits after the real credits after the real film, as opposed to the fake film (???).  Here's how:  From the start of the "Final Credits," fast forward 1 minute and 20 seconds and hit pause.  Then scoot forward frame by frame till you see my name on the left-middle section (or second from the left section).  Then enjoy the next 22 frames until my name disappears.  Hollywood, here I come...
-Robin Williams- It's a sad day when I have to bag on somebody that I have met and enjoyed.  Sorry, Robin.  It's just your time.  You're just trying too hard right now.  Your impressions of "ghetto people" are really showing your age and ethnicity.  You repeat the same material on different networks and in interviews.  And most unfortunately, your seemingly less funny than you are disruptive.  This is rectifiable (is that a word?  If not, I own it!).  Please, fix yourself.
-Mater- In the movie, Cars, there is a tow truck character who explains that his name is "Mater.  Like Tuhmater, without the Tuh."  I have no problem with the joke itself.  My problem is with it being apparently the only repeatable line from the movie.  I haven't seen the movie.  I don't care to.  Cars that talk, why???  But I digress... People who've seen the movie, and maybe this is just in my own house, seem to think that when they repeat this line, that it is somehow supposed to be funny to everybody.  No.  "You had to be there, I guess."  No.  Stop it.
-Miss USA- This is such a ridiculous controversy.  So the girl drank while underage and made out with Miss Teen USA, who cares (but where is the video, huh-huh)?!  I think that her actions actually more accurately represent her peers than people'd like to admit.  Fuck it!  Go to any high school.  Any.  You will find underage girls swilling brewskis and doing all manner of wrongness everywhere you turn.  Who gives a shit?!  And honestly, what standards could a contest that's results are 2/3rds based on clothing appearance possibly have?!  Get used to it.  You're lame.  And our daughters, sisters, and our cousins are all drunken whores.  It's what it is.  Change reality, not your stupid contest results.
-Time Magazine- You lazy fucks.  They recently named their "Person of the Year" every single person who looks at the magazine.  That is so retarded, I can't even describe it.  Speaking only for myself, I can tell you that I am worthy of no such honor.  I eat too much, I sleep too much, I watch too much TV, I curse constantly (especially when I spot Bullshit), and I hardly care about anyone at all (slight exaggeration).  You want to award that?!  Fuck you.  I quit!
-The Suicide Girls- I don't understand how these chicks are in the top blogs everyday and I really don't understand the fascination with them at all.  I'm all for recognizing beauty in all of it's shapes and forms (hell, bring it on) but I just don't see the point in this particular group.  It's like, "let's take a bunch of chicks with beautiful faces, bodies, and unique personalities, tat the shit out of them (I mean, to gross proportions), and then sell it as somehow more artful than Playboy!"  It's nonsense. 
Ladies, do whatever you want to yourselves.  If tattoos are how you feel you need to express yourselves, that's fine.  But don't be offended if I think you just ruined a work of art by putting a work of art on yourself.  The craze has gone way too far and it's getting gross.  But don't worry about pleasing me.  I'm just one lunatic in the world.  But you're not pleasing to look at anymore either.  And forthat, I am truly sorry.
So that's what I've got for today, kids.  Agree, disagree, we're just bricks in the wall.  High-Five!  Oh yeah.  :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Monday, December 18, 2006

The End Is The Beginning


Hey, kids!  It's been a crazy week or so.  Here's a nice little recap of things and what's gone down.
I finished my filmie on Monday night thanks to 'round the clock efforts of Josh, my sound designer.  I got a whopping 3 hours sleep that night, which was the opposite of awesome.  But we finished and I was pretty happy with it.
The SDSU Film Festival jury had viewed the film prior to Monday, without most of the sound, and they deemed in unworthy of making the half of the festival that people would have to pay to see.  Needless to say, I was bummed.  Most of my friends' films had made it and that made it all the harder.  It was no consolation to me that we were still in the free festival and people would still get to see my work.  After all the effort I had put into my filmie and it being the culmination of my academic career, having my filmie relegated to the red-headed stepchild festival felt like an indictment on me.  It hurt bad.
But when the sound was finished (for now), the filmie was twice as good as before.  So there was some hope, though it seemed fleeting, that a change would get made and it would get bumped up to the big-time.
Meanwhile, I had other stuff to get done.  I had a 30-page First Act screenplay to write for Friday.  I had at that point (Monday) only written about 3 and an 1/8th pages, and one of those pages needed to be re-worked. 
I pissed away Tuesday somewhat by watching TV and nonsense (I'm sure I was also on here too much) and I typed a few things for directing class.  So on Wednesday I set out to pretty much write the whole damned thing.  I'm not gonna lie, it turned out pretty damned good.  It ended up only being 21 pages but the story was there and moving and it was only the first draft.  It was really nice to have that done and under my belt for the rest of the week.
My printer cartridge had slightly different ideas.  The black ink ran out, wouldn't ya know it.  I had to print out at school which was a minor inconvenience/annoyance.
On Thursday, I grudgingly used my filmie as my final project in my directing class.  I had wanted to do something unique but my time was clearly devoted to my filmie and so things had to work out this way.  I still felt like I had let my jolly professor, Peter, down.  On a side note, I had seen him really yell at somebody the previous week and it made me more than slightly afraid of him (like I said, he's always very jolly).  But I digress...  So I showed my filmie in class and the response was pretty positive, though we watched it on a really shitty TV.  So that was comforting but I did notice areas that we could tighten up later.  Much later.
That night was the festival.  Early Thursday morning, I received an email about my filmie making the paid portion of the festival.  I was really happy about that but also sad that my actors probably wouldn't have enough notice to be there for it.  But at least it meant that my filmie was worth paying to see.  It made me feel like a professional filmmaker.
When it came time for my filmie, I slumped down in my seat and hyperventilated, waiting to be booed off of the campus.  Of course that didn't happen, nor would it have but I can be quite ridiculous with myself.  We actually got a really great response.  They laughed in all the right spots and everyone was very complimentary afterwards.  I was and am quite pleased.  This festival was going to be my litmus test of where this film would go, either to more festivals or into the vault, never to be seen again.  I'm touched to say that the former is far more likely.  High-Five!
On Friday morning, I delivered my screenplay to my professor and Erik and I ate a celebratory lunch, at Sbarros!  We had both done it, we graduated.  Holy smokes!  Done.  Cah-put.  It's a good feeling but I know I'm going to miss a lot of people.  Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeggggg!
On Saturday, I went to work at the Convention Center for the very last time, fully expecting some sort of celebration.  And... ...that's a negative.  Nothing.  A lump of coal might have been more enthusiastic.  I was really disappointed.  I spent 5 years at that building, over 1/5th of my life.  My friend Tony and I sprung for pizza and so I drowned myself in that.  I also spent the last half-hour or so in the bathroom.  Seriously, who needs alcohol?!  Again, it was good to be moving on but I will miss many people.  I still have to call a few people to say proper good-byes.
So, I'm a college graduate.  I'm unemployed.  I'm 23Gs in debt.  And I'm overweight (mostly unrelated, just figured I'd throw that in). 
Christmas is coming though and so is much leisure.  I have shopping to do and DVDs to watch.  More blogs will be coming too, kids.  Oh yeah.  :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Red Sux


Hey kids!  So I should totally be writing my 30-page screenplay right now but something in today's news struck me (not literally, that would've hurt) and I must write about it.
The Boston Red Sox have signed Japanese pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka.  That's not that astounding, I know.  The thing that bugs me is that they're going to pay him 52 million dollars after paying his former team 51 million dollars for exclusive negotiation rights.  Again, that is sports, so why does it bother me?
It bothers me because the Red Sox and their fans try to pass themselves off as some underdog team that is always struggling to beat the Yankees.  But with your own exhorbent spending, I got news for ya Sawx fans, YOU ARE THE FUCKING YANKEES!!!
You spend and spend and spend and spend and spend.  You won your World Series in '04 and since then you have spent and spent.  Last season you spent the second most in the MLB on your players, out-spent only by the Yankees.
You can't be underdogs when you're only spending 20 million dollars less than the next guy and you're spending nearly 100 million more than all the 28 remaining teams.  That makes you the OVERDOGS (?)!  
This past year you lost.  You didn't even make the playoffs.  And I laughed, though admittedly for more than one reason.
This coming year, I hope you lose too.  Because you are the Evil Empire.  You are the Yankees.  So by all means, continue to spend ridiculous money ($100 million) on guys like J.D. Drew (whose real name is David John, go figure) and Julio Lugo. 
I hope you lose to the Royals, the Devil Rays, the Twins, the A's, and when you play the Yankees be sure to bring your bats and not just your checkbooks or you may as well just spending the whole game jerking each other off.
Playball, ya fuckers!
Ha-rumph...

Friday, December 1, 2006

MILESTONE


Hey kids!  It has come to my attention (because I check all the time) that I just received my 10,000th blog view! 

YAY!

YAY FOR ME!!!

YAY FOR ALL OF US!!!

YAY FOR ALL THE KIDS IN THE STREETS NOT TAKING ANY SHIT FROM THE MAN WHO'S ALWAYS TRYIN' TO KEEP 'EM DOWN BECAUSE THEY LOOK DIFFERENT OR SMELL DIFFERENT OR WEAR HIGH HEEL SNEAKERS, HOT PANTS, AND A TURTLENECK IN 90 DEGREE WEATHER 'CAUSE IT'S ALL THEY'VE GOT TO WEAR 'CAUSE THEY'RE BROKE 'CAUSE THE MAN IS KEEPIN' 'EM DOWN ALL THE TIME AND THEY CANNOT RISE UP AND I'M REALLY MILKING THIS NOW AND I PROBABLY SHOULD STOP BUT I WON'T 'CAUSE IT'S JUST TO GOOD, AND OKAY, I'm done.

Hoorays all around to you heroes, and to the few anti-heroes along the way.  You know who you are (crazy bitches).  And to Davinchi, I have no idea who you are but keep reading, buddy!  Yeah!

In other slightly less important news, we finally got a rough cut of my film together.  We're still missing some shots and we're gonna get them on Sunday (Lord willing) but otherwise the story is all there minus a sound design and the aforementioned shots.  The dog actually worked out really well so that's a big sigh of relief.  The owners aren't returning our calls now though, so everyone send a big "Boo" their way, care of me.

Hey, remember that one time, earlier this year, when the Cardinals won the World Series?  That's still awesome.  It's the skib-scam-skizzle!

And I should probably be doing work right now but I'm all hyped up from many things.  I saw a fun play that my professor, Peter, directed.  It was jolly-good fun as someone as English as Peter might say.  Maybe I really don't have my English accent down quite yet?  No matter.

So it is with this I say good-bye, kiddies.  Pleasant dreams.  Peasant dreams probably wouldn't be quite as fulfilling.  Anywhoo, thanks again for all the support.  I hope I'm doing something right and I hope to keep deserving the blog-love.  Oh yeah.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!