Scuzzlebutts!

Hey, kids!  So in case you didn't know (and seriously, where have you been?!), VH1 has been having their annual World Series of Pop Culture the past two weeks.  What you may also not know is that every night of the show, there have been 2 (East Coast and West Coast) online trivia challenges called the Trivia Dome.  The winner of each receives $2,500.  There's also an Ultimate Trivia Dome, after the show/tournament ends, and that's for $10,000.  Also, the UTD is based solely on questions that were asked on the show. 

The winner of each Trivia Dome contest was decided by how many questions they got right (out of 25) and in how fast a time (to break any ties).  The questions were asked in a survival format, meaning that if you answer wrong (or take too long) on a question, you're out.

Well, since I didn't get on the show, you know I had to get in on this shit.

*Let it be noted here that I tried to take a screen shot of my Trivia Dome avatar but Windows/PCs suck*

So I didn't really realize how good a money making opportunity this was at first, so I really didn't start playing till the 2nd night West Coast game.  Needless to say, I had to get used to the format, and I was bounced after 2 correct answers.  Not my proudest showing, as you will see.  Somehow, 2 right answers was good enough for 731st place out of 1,711 people.  The West Coast games generally had less participants because it took place at 10pm PST.

I missed the next East Coast game but I played in Night 3's West Coast game.  Here I answered 6 questions correctly.  It must have been a really tough night because that score was good enough for 94th place out of 2,211 people.  I believe I missed an Animal House question.  It never ceases to amaze me how not having seen that movie always bites me in the ass.

Well, I could get real boring and go through all the nights but I've just now decided that that would suck.  I'll just say that it was often times some reallyminute fact (even for me) or the one show I didn't watch that did me in.

I started to really catch my stride on Night 6's East Coast game.  I finished with 21 correct answers which was good for 102nd place out of 9,511 people.  This got me pretty stoked.  I was getting super-close to the money.  I could feel it.  I think I lost on some obscure Cape Fear (the Scorscese version) question. 

Keep in mind that every night the winner was getting all 25 questions right (more or less) and FAST.

As luck tends to go, I blew the West Coast game that night but came back solidly on Night 7's East Coast game.  I got 16 correct for 189th place out of roughly 11,000 people.  Solid, not bad.

In that night's West Coast game, I got 13 correct for 149th out of 3,311 people.  Again, solid.  Not great, no money, but decent.  I think I blew out on a goddamned Mariah Carey question too.  Wouldn't ya know it...

So it's down to the final night of the show (though not the Trivia Dome), and in the East Coast game, I kinda tank.  I get to 10 right answers and blow.  I finish a demoralizing 2603rd out of probably 12,000 people.  Possibly time to panic.

Then BAM! 

The West Coast game comes and I am feelin' it.  I blaze threw and get bounced out after 22 correct answers.  I never watched Eight is Enough!  Damn you, Dick Van Patten!  I can't really feel bad because I didn't even remotely know it but I was SOoo close.  So I anxiously awaited the final results, and I ended up finishing 27th out of 3,811 people!  "Preety good, Dr. Jones..."

So, no $2,500 prize.  I think I did pretty well.  I feel good about it.

Ah, but wait... Tonight was the Ultimate Trivia Dome!  That absolute last game for a cash prize this season.  $10,000 was on the line and the challenge was 50 questions and it's all out of pure memory from the past 2 week's shows. 

Pure memory???  Past 2 weeks???  Is there any contest that could be more perfectly suited for me???

The answer is: No. 

That is precisely how I passed Biology in college.  I was doing pretty bad (by my standards) and was facing down a C grade heading into the final.  But the final consisted of 80 percent old test questions and the rest was new material.  So I studied the old exams (as minimally as I study) and ACED the fucker!  Walked out of the class with a B...  HA!

So I'm pretty geared up for this final test of my Pop Culture memory.  I get ready at my desk and I turn the sound down because the music and sound effects only add more pressure.  And it starts...

I'm plugging along and everything is looking familiar.  I'm a bit nervous 'cause I wanna do well but I'm not freaking out.  I could've probably used a few deep breaths because I got a question about the show Nip/Tuck.  It's asking about the name of the fictional serial killer from the show.  I didn't know the answer but I watched the TV contestant get it right and remembered that.  It's "The Carver."  So I quickly (too quickly) scan the answers and click on the...

OH SHIT!  THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT ONE!!!  OH MOTHER OF FUCK!!!

And I bang my fist down into the desk.  I had a complete and total brain fart but you all have done it, I'm sure.  See, one of the wrong answers was "The Cleaver."  CLEAVER.  C (that's the same)- L (wrong)- E (wrong)- A (vaguely right)- V (good)- E (right)- R (perfect).  It starts and ends the same as Carver and thus it fucked me. 

And of course with my crazy-memory, I remember my Psychology class from the Fall of '02 that we humans possess what is called, "The Flynn Effect."  It's basically automatic word reading.  If someone asks you to tell them what color this word (BROWN) is written in, you're still gonna say "brown" 9 times out of 10.  It's also why we're able to raed wrods lkie tihs eevn thuogh thye're mispleled.  It's the fuckin' truth and don't I know it.

So, after only 16 correct answers out of 50, I am no more.  Do not win contest.  Do not collect $10,000. 

It sucked and it's frustrating but I will live to play again.  And win, DAMMIT!

SHUT IT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!  :-P  Pbbbbbth!!!