Tuesday, February 14, 2006

St. V-yuck...


So, kids, it's after midnight and it is officially Valentine's Day.
Whoop-I-Dee-Doo...
These are the words of the single man.  I've actually heard quite a few snide remarks about this holiday.  Most have been from fellow singlers(?) and some have been from relatios(again, ?). 
First of all, people in relationships, Shut the fuck up.  That's right, you heard me.  What do you have to complain about?  Awww, you gotta buy a present for somebody special.  Boo-fuckin'-hoo.  At least you got somebod...  Ya bastards, all of ya!
What's that???
Yes, I have been drinking.  What of it?!  You go back home to your cuddle-buddy and let me vent.  
I'm just sitting here, minding my own business, talkin' about havin' nobody.  Don't you judge me, you evil, happy, prick!  I oughta break yer nose.
No I will not put the bottle down.  No I will not be okay.  What do you know, huh?  You, with your "good looks", and your "personality."  I wanna kiss you... I'm sorry, I get awful friendly when I'm on the Schlitz.
*hiccup*
Anyway, you just enjoy your Valentine's Day.  I'll be here when she crushes your soul, again.  You'll see, you'll see...
(This has been a presentation of my new character, Drunken Morty Jones, whom I created on the drive home after a very long day.)

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