Wead It And Reep

Hey, kids!  Guess what I got in the mail today?  Here it is:

 

So that's pretty hot, right?  Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

 

Aside from that, the old insomnia is still kickin' around.  I actually slept 4 hours on Friday night (by 4, I mean, 2hrs sleep-4hrs awake-2hrs sleep), woke up at 8am Saturday morning, wrangled cable at the Aztec's Basketball game (in which, I was ALL OVER the telecast), came home and chilled, and guess what???  Couldn't fall asleep till 5am Sunday morning!  Ridiculoso!  Muy ridiculoso!!!

 

My frustration is only equalled by my restlessness.  It sucks.  My old stomach problems are acting up as well (to add nicely to the mess).  I.B.S. ain't no fun, and not in the Snoop Dogg sort of way either.

 

So there's an update for 'ya.  Hope you're awesome.  :-P  Pbbth.

Well Played, Trebek

Hey, kids.  I'm a little miffed this evening.  See, I was going to take the Jeopardy! test online tonight.  Everyone in the Pacifict Timezone was supposed to take it at 8pm.  I thought it was just like registering for classes, where you can do it at your leisure as long as it's after the stated time.

So I was watching tonight's episode of the backwards game show and I was killing the contestants ('cause I'm kind of a genius), when my stomach started to "talk to me."  I held out till the end of Double Jeopardy and when I saw that the Final Jeopardy category was The Middle Ages, I decided it would be a good bet that I wouldn't know it and so I went "off the grid."

I won't suffer you with the details of that but, needless to say, I could have had more fun being shot out of a cannon at an angry oncoming elephant seal.

I was well aware that it was close to 8pm but like I said, I wasn't worried.

So by the time I was "in playing shape," it was about 8:05.  I walked slowly and confidently to the computer, went to Jeopardy.com, and attempted to log in.

"THE TEST EVENT IS OVER."

What the fuck?!

I tried again.  Same result.  WHAT THE FUCK?!

After a quick read-thru of the finer print, that does not appear on the main test page, I see that the test took place at 8pm and only at8pm.  This being the Pacific Timezone meant that it was the last timezone that they were testing and of course, it was also the last test of the period.  This all meaning that there is no other test for the remainder of the year.

Well, fuck me.

So that sucks.  It's certainly not the end of the world and even a passing test score didn't guarantee you a spot on the show but the fact that I had been waiting for it, only to miss it by a deuce, pretty much blows.  Add to that, all other NBC Shows of their "Comedy Night Done Right(yuck yuck, assholes)" were repeats.

Fuck you, Merv Griffin.  Fuck you up your stupid ass.

No-Five.    :-P  Pbbbbbbth(and that's all you get)!

Negatory Glory

Hey, kids!  How are you?  Eh, I'm alright.  Feeling a little sick.  Not like a cold, more like a yuck.  You know the feeling?  The yuck?  Yeah, that's pretty much it.

My insomnia is getting a little better.  I'm falling asleep at more regualr hours now.  I took melatonin for a couple nights (upon recommendation from Jude) and I don't know if it really worked.  It made me feel sleepy but didn't necessarily put me to sleep and it certainly didn't keep me there (there being: dreamland).  Last night, I went to bed on my own.  I still wake up in the mornings, around 6 or 7, and toss around for awhile and then fall back to sleep.  This morning's "toss" was a little more understandable considering I was fighting off a vampire in the dark (in my dream, of course).  I should probably mention that I'm reading Bram Stoker's Dracula.

(Prepare For NO Transitional Material)

Hey!  What's the deal with this John Cena character???  This guy's everywhere and I don't know why.  The man has stolen my hairstyle and my physique and now he's stealing up all the TV airtime.  What's the deal?  This guy pretty much sucks, right?  Am I the only one that sees this?

And another thing: what's with all these Buzz Lightyear photos on peoples' MySpaces?  They're everywhere.  Could this ride honestly have been the highlight of your trips?  I mean, it's still Disneyland, isn't it?  The Mickey, the Goofy, the Dumbo?  Where are your photos of them?  Well, at least I can be glad that there are no pirates in the pictures.  Sheesh...

So, surge in troop levels, huh?  Not awesome.

Hey!  Change your passwords, kids!  Seriously, it's bugging the shit out of me.  And you're repeat offenders too.  Get it together, man.

Hey, have you guys heard of this movie that's coming out called,Smokin' Aces???  I bet you have.  'Cause the commercials are on all the fucking time!  This is one movie that BETTER BE GOOD.  Or else...

What's with the new crop of MTV "reality shows?"  Why have we all gone back to high school?  Everytime I flip by it's some dumb teen punkass, holding a dixie cup.  And they're either trying to spit game at some bleach-blonde or they're trying to wax "bro-philosophical."  Shut the fuck up.  You don't know shit.  And you're not interesting to listen to and you simply are not TV.  Period.

Has anyone ever seen Nancy Grace talk about black people?  Seriously.  How about mexicans?  Oh wait, I mean in a non-suspicious way.  I'm hearing crickets on this one.  Crickets mean I'm right.  And Nancy Grace blows. 

Apparently there's a controversy over on the British Big Brother: Celebrity Version.  It's enough of a controversy that Tony Blair had to come out and say, and I'm quoting him here, "One quasi-celebrity twat does not represent our country's views on brown people."  Why would anybody think that it did?  Hello?!  It's Big Brother!  Possibly the lamest reality show ever.  Why am I even writing about this?!

Alright, kids, I'm done blogging for today.  But if you ask me, you're getting off lightly.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

THERE'S NO TIME!!!

Hey, kids!  Wow, where to start.  I don't know why I said that.  I'm not really that excited.

I guess I'll start with the inspiration for the title of this here blog.  24is back!  Jack Bauer is back from a Chinese prison and he's changed.  Will he still shoot you?  Yes.  Will he think twice about it now?  Maybe. 

They started off with two, two-hour episodes and they pretty much rocked my world.  I will admit that some of the dialogue bothered me.  I think they said the word "sacrifice" 81-times in the first hour.  Also, there were a few times where a character would say something to someone else and then someone unrelated would come up to them and say the exact same thing as though they had been there.  It was very odd and very on-the-nose, which is screenwriter speak for bad.

But then they nuked L.A.!  Holy-Smokes! 

"But Jack Bauer never fails..?  Oh, the new one does."

Anything can happen now.  No one is safe.  "Well played, Kiefer."

Now for an update to my previous blog, I am completetly over the cold I had.  It's pretty awesome.  The bad news, of course, is that I'm still suffering from this insomnia.  It's changed a bit though.  Now I fall asleep at 2am or so, and then I wake up around 5 or 6am, fall asleep at 9am till about 2pm.  It's at this point when I ask myself, "What the fuck?!"  It sucks, kids.  Don't try this at home.

My parents are watching American Idol right now and I'm trying not to crush small objects in between keystrokes.  I can hear the lunacy that is this "cultural phenomenon," which sounds more like a cultural cesspool.  The people "attempting" to sing are retarded, the judges are retarded, and the viewers are at least temporarily retarded.  It sickens me.  This coming along with having accidentally watchedThe O'Reilly Factor earlier today.  It turns out Stephen Colbert will be on tomorrow.  I knew that and still I folly.  Yuck, just yuck.

So it looks like I'm gonna stick around town until the May graduation, barring any spectacular opportunities.  Anyone got any spectacular opportunities???  I gotta make money in the meantime somehow.  I'm still figuring out how that's gonna happen.

I'm pretty much at a loss for anything else to say.

... Umm... Read any good bulletins lately?

Alright, I'm gonna call "Cut" here.  I got nothing.  Sorry to make you wait and then give you this.  They can't all be chocolate-covered wilderbeasts!

Bad-Blog-Five!  *snap*  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

P.S. To make up for this blog's lack of enthusiasm, I'm including a bulletin that I'm particularly proud of.  If you already read it, I'd apologize, but hey, you can't please everybody.  So there.

1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
For a second there, I thought it said "stalk." No way, Jose. Not that it was a guy named Jose, mind you. Nor even a guy. Shit, there's no way out of this.
2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?Melt 'em down and make a plastic sculpture of Han Solo frozen in carbonite, duh!
3.What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Green Day, The Presidents of the United States, a little Nirvana. Yes for those of you reading this, You are old.
4.What is the best thing about your current job?
That I don't have one!
5.Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
Why? People never learn.
6. Are you against same sex marriage?
No. Are you for ignorant, hate-mongering?
7. Have you been on a date in the past week?No. I am way too sick to date right now. I have a cold, not issues. I thought I'd clear that up.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?Probably Vegas at some point.
9. Quote a song lyric:
"On candy-striped legs, the spiderman comes..." from Lullaby by the Cure. iTunes on random, folks, it's FAN-TASTIC!
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mostly new. Most of my old friends are burnout potheads and it got pretty repitive hanging around them so I stopped.
11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
I don't think so. That shit falls apart really easy. Damned Swedes...
12. Do you like your parents?
I love my parents. They're FAN-TASTIC!
13. Do you still live with them?For now.
14. What state/country are you from?
San Diego, CA pretty much.
15. Tell us about the last conversation you had?
My Mom asked what we should have for dinner and I'm so out of it that I don't care.
16. Where do you see yourself in one month?
Probably still here. Hopefully not sick still. And sleeping normally again.
17. What is your favorite smell?I don't know, I'm usually pretty stuffed up so I don't notice things.
19. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
No. I'm pretty polar.
20. What is the time and the outside temperature at the moment?
6:07pm and it's too damned stuffy outside. Santa Ana winds blow. Oh shit. Pun unexpected.
21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers?
Not really. I've thought about it but it's never worth it.
22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
No. Couldn't hurt though.
23. Have you ever Played Spin the Bottle?No and I'm so pissed that I didn't have those sorts of moments. What the fuck, you know?
24. Have you ever Toilet Papered someones house?
Nah. It's pretty dumb.

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
Dude! All the time! Some I think I will go to my grave never telling. It'd be hopeless to do so, so why cross that bridge? Besides, all women are crazy. I believe I've mentioned that before.
26. Have you ever gone camping?
I have. I'm not a fan. I'm surprisingly high maintenance.
27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend?
I've never had a brother. My sister's friends? Maybe once or twice but it's still kind of weird and gross at the same time.
28. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
If I'm not a participant, then I'm just a creepo. So no.
29. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
No. It turns grown adults back into children and then it's all, "Wah-wah-wah..."
30. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
I've not had the pleasure. Oh shit. Double entendre. Triple word score.
31. Have you ever had a stalker?
I could go for that. I mean, how bad could it be, right? You women need to learn how to take compliments. "...Ooh, you're wearing red today! Nice."
32. Have you ever been in love?No. I was just being facetious.
33. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
I don't think I'll ever be that free with myself. That kind of makes me sad, for like, no seconds.
34. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?I think so. But it hardly qualifies as crying.
35. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only straight one?Nope. That would have to have been some sort of prank. It's just unlikely to happen otherwise. I mean, the only one...
37. Have you ever had sex with one of your myspace friends?Not on the current list, no. Crazy bitch.
38. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
My best friend broke my wrist in 4th grade, what do you think?
39. Have you ever felt like you were just completely rhino raped?
There was that one time in the scouts... No, I was never in the scouts. Seriously, I think there's a badge for rhino rape. But I was always too Fonzie to be a scout. Still am, motherfucker.
40. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Only to protect the innocent (i.e. Me).
41. Have you ever been out of the US?
I've never been in the WE so no. Oh wait, yes.
42. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
I felt like it a few times at volleyball practice. But just working out, that'd be stupid. Know your limits, you crazy fuckers.
43. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month?I got a haircut so bad that I had to change hairstyles because of it. Let's us erase the "slicked back Aaron" from our collective memories.
44. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
I've probably been close, on a trip or something. Of course, I'm referring to peyote and not a vacation.
45. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didn't know what was going on?Nope. I always know what's going on and it makes me a creepo.
46. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on?
That's what MySpace is for, isn't it?
47. Have you ever liked someone but thought that they would never like you?...And here's my life...
48. Have you ever told someone, you just met, everything about your life?
They're the best kind of listeners. Not hobos though. They just yack-yack-yack-yack-yack...