What Separation?!

Hey, kids!  I guess you could say that I've been disturbed into writing this blog about the separation of church and state.  See, yesterday I had jury duty.  And while I waiting to see if I'd be called into jury selection, I got to thinking, and we all know what that means...

I started thinking about if I got called up and they made me place my hand on the Bible before they asked me questions about myself.  I wasn't sure what I would do.  I remember a few years ago that the practice of Bible-hand-placing had gone away due to its exclusiveness to acknowledge other religious beliefs.  But then I remember that it's after 9/11, Bush is in the White House, and this country is filled with right-wing fuckhole douchebags, so I figured the possibility was there.

I thought, "Well I'm not gonna do it and they can't make me.  Wait, will that get me dismissed and I won't have to serve on a case?  No.  That'd be too easy.  And then of course I'd have to explain my refusal, in which I'm likely to call someone a fuckhole.  I'm pretty sure I'd get contempt of court for that.  I can't go to prison.  My face is too sweet."

So while I was thinking about that, I looked up on the TV that was on in the juror's lounge ("lounge" because it's so swanky and hip) and I saw the new Congress swearing-in ceremonies on FoxNews.

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.  FoxNews.  Aw, I think I'm gonna throw up."

But I noticed that before the pledge, they all stopped and had a group prayer.  And my head nearly flew off my neck and dive-bombed the court clerk.  WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!

Why the fuck are they having a group prayer in a federal government building?!  Somehow I feel that that violates the separation of church and state.  That's kind of an important clause... IN THE CONSTITUTION!   And that's kind of an important document... IN THE CAPITOL BUILDING!

And then I remembered that this country is filled with mindless fuckhole jackoffs, who surprisingly enough, elect the type of mindless fuckhole jackoffs that would miss that sort of glaring detail.  And none of those mindless fuckhole jackoffs are brave enough to stand up for WHAT IS RIGHT because it might somehow "rock the boat" or "mean something."  Because they'd risk not being re-elected by their mindless fuckhole jackoff constituents.

It grinds my gears, kids.  It chaps my hide.  It grates my cheese (not sure about that one).  And it plain old pisses me off. 

I could understand this logical folly in some podunk municipalities around the country, where the ten commandments are on every doorstep and the number of guns outnumbers teeth 4 to 1.  But in fucking CONGRESS?!

I just don't get it.  How can we ever claim to be "the leaders of the world" if we're still swearing on works of fiction (i.e. books, you know the kind, with pages and shit) and asking invisible objects for help and guidance?!  We can't.  We're just as bad as any fanatical "holy nation."  Except we've got Holy Hand Grenades (i.e. nuclear weapons) and we can choose to bring about armageddon anytime we choose.  And our citizens can't house themselves, can't eat, can't read, can't care for their sick, and worst of all can't see the hipocrisy that is the government of the United States of America.

And don't give me any bullshit about the founding fathers.  You want to exclude women and minorities from the political process like they did, while also owning women and minorities?!  I don't think you do.  But by praying in Congress, or allowing your politicians to do it, you are condoning the exclusion of "non-believers" (i.e. everybody not named Billy Bob) from being full participants in the giant circle-jerk that is the political process.  It's bad.  Let's stop it.  Hell, ANARCHY IN THE U.S.A.!

And stop singing "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch at baseball games already.  9/11 was 5, going on 6, years ago.  We're trying to globalize the game while singing "God likes us better?!"  It's dumb.  Stop it.

Now to wrap this up, I'm placing my hand on my genitals and swearing that "the above blog was written honestly and with love, for ALL of my readers (to at least ponder), by myself, Aaron Tutankhamen B. (maintaining some anonymity), and thank you, have a nice day, and Blow me!"

High-Five!  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!