Civil Disturbance

Hey, kids.  Welcome to another segment of:

'Buncha Savages In This Town Vol.2

Yes, kids, my car got egged again tonight.  For this second time this year, some filthy fucking miscreants decided to deface my automobile with an aborted chicken fetus.  I am SOoo pissed.  And can I just say,

"YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Not to those of you reading this, unless you're one of them... *points accusational finger wildly*

I was actually playing solitaire on my laptop, with my headphones on, listening to the iTunes when I heard my car alarm sorta go off.  It didn't go off all the way.  It just sounded off a few quick high-pitched chirps.  I surprisingly heard it through my tunes and so I paused everything.

My mom thought she had heard people outside but it must have been a car.  She and I could see something wet underneath my car, so  I went out and discovered the unneighborly atrocity.  My neighbor was outside but unfortunately didn't see anything.  They hit my car right below the driver's-side window.

"Ha-Ha!  You missed my window again, you fucking fucks!"

So I turned my car around and washed off the wasted protein paste.  It came off easily.  Getting to it quickly is the key.  You may remember the last time I blogged about this when I didn't get to clean my car quickly.  Luckily in that case, a high-powered hose was easy to find to do the job right.

Then I put on some socks and my shoes and my dad and I drove around the neighborhood.  I was hoping for a couple of things:

1. I was hoping that more cars were hit because:
    a. It would mean that the offense was random (as it seemed the 1st time)
    b. It would mean that I could follow a trail of some kind.

2. I was hoping that I just might find a group of kids hanging out outside their house with an empty egg carton. 

The latter was less likely and it also would've led to 2 whole other situations:

1. This angry whiteguy (me) gets out of his car (Layla) and at least attempts to pummel 2 or 3 high school kids at once (they'd rue the day...).

2. This angry whiteguy (me) sees them from his car (Layla) and gets their address (666 Asswipe Ave) or license plate (MSTRB8) and calls the police (non-emergency line).

Well, only the first option of this series actually happened.  We found a car way down at the beginning of the street that had also been hit.  They had not found out yet.

This leads me to the following conclusions:

1. The car had only 2 occupants, 1 driver, 1 passenger.

2. It was traveling northbound, again, because the affected vehicles were on the east side of the street (the passenger's-side).

3. Was it random though?  I can't say.  I don't know if the car down the street has been hit before, like mine, and the neighbor across from me wasn't hit this time.

4. The perpetrators have a total of ZERO dicks.  That's not to say that they were women, although they may have been... *points accusationally at all women*  But clearly, my greatest proof is that they, instead of ever-pursuing the ultimate goal of getting laid by some poor hapless chola (with the drawn-on eyebrows), these fucking fucks, these cocknozzles (<---T.M. by me), were more amused by ruining someone else's night and their opinion of this neighborhood, of San Diego, of California, and of humanity as a whole.

"Go die in a fire, you worthless bastards.  Burn, motherfuckers, burn."