Hey kids! So I should totally be writing my 30-page screenplay right now but something in today's news struck me (not literally, that would've hurt) and I must write about it.
The Boston Red Sox have signed Japanese pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka. That's not that astounding, I know. The thing that bugs me is that they're going to pay him 52 million dollars after paying his former team 51 million dollars for exclusive negotiation rights. Again, that is sports, so why does it bother me?
It bothers me because the Red Sox and their fans try to pass themselves off as some underdog team that is always struggling to beat the Yankees. But with your own exhorbent spending, I got news for ya Sawx fans, YOU ARE THE FUCKING YANKEES!!!
You spend and spend and spend and spend and spend. You won your World Series in '04 and since then you have spent and spent. Last season you spent the second most in the MLB on your players, out-spent only by the Yankees.
You can't be underdogs when you're only spending 20 million dollars less than the next guy and you're spending nearly 100 million more than all the 28 remaining teams. That makes you the OVERDOGS (?)!
This past year you lost. You didn't even make the playoffs. And I laughed, though admittedly for more than one reason.
This coming year, I hope you lose too. Because you are the Evil Empire. You are the Yankees. So by all means, continue to spend ridiculous money ($100 million) on guys like J.D. Drew (whose real name is David John, go figure) and Julio Lugo.
I hope you lose to the Royals, the Devil Rays, the Twins, the A's, and when you play the Yankees be sure to bring your bats and not just your checkbooks or you may as well just spending the whole game jerking each other off.
Playball, ya fuckers!
Ha-rumph...
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