It's 11:29 pm on a Friday night. I'm at home saving my energy for the next 2 days (party then Jimmy Eat World). I get a phonecall. I look at the caller id and it says, "Private Call". I'm expecting phonecalls from at least a 1/2 dozen people so I answer.
Female Voice (in a noisy room): Hey are you gonna come and fuck me right now?
Aaron: What?? Who is this??
Female: I'm naked and ready for you to come over and fuck me.
Aaron: Who is this??
Female: I want you to fuck me.
Aaron: I want the people around you to quiet down.
Female: Oh sorry, I'll tell them. So are you gonna come over?
Aaron: I don't know where there is.
Female: It's near campus. On Hardy Avenue. Piedra del Sol, Apartment 201.
Aaron: And who is this??
Female: You don't remember me?
Aaron: How could I? Female: You fucked me last weekend.
Aaron: That's kinda impossible.
Female: You did. You laid me flat.
Aaron: I'm sure I would have but it wasn't me.
Female: Yeah you did. This is Aaron, right?
Aaron: Yeah???
Female: Yeah, you hammered me. I couldn't walk the next day.
Aaron: I'm sure I would have. But it couldn't have been me.
Female: You're such a jerk! You fucked me hard and I want you to come over.
Aaron: I don't even know who this is.
Female: What?? Aaron: What's your name?
Female: Tiffany.
Aaron: Again, it's impossible cause I don't know anyone named Tiffany.
Tiffany: What the fuck?? You've got a 9 inch cock, right?
Aaron: No, sorry.
Tiffany: This is the wrong Aaron!
*CLICK*
I shit you not, this phone conversation literally took place (to the best of my recollection) between me and some girl named Tiffany. I know where she lives and I know how she likes it. But I'm not the right Aaron. But someone out there sure is representin'! Oh yeah (definitely dirty).
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