Hey, kids. I gotta take a break from sneezing and feeling full headed to talk to you about some things.
First of all, ranch dressing. What the fuck is the big deal with ranch dressing these days? People are putting it on everything now. They're putting it on fries! They're dipping chicken tenders in it! And I saw a commercial for pizza and ranch dip! AAAAAAAAHHH! NO! It's a salad dressing. Do fries look like salad? No. Does chicken? No. Pizza? NOOOO!O!O! Stop it. You're hurting my life.
Secondly, I have more of a question about bathroom trash etiquette. What is acceptable to throw away in the bathroom? I would think bathroom things like toilet paper, floss, disposable contact lenses, various cleaning products, empty air fresheners, etc.
Now have you ever been eating or drinking something, and then you go to the bathroom, but you make a complete diversion in your trip to pottytown in order to throw that stuff away in, say, the kitchen trashcan? I know I have. Why do we do that? There's a perfectly acceptable recepticle in the bathroom. My only guess is that you get self-conscious about whether or not someone else will use the bathroom after you and think that you've been eating or drinking on the john. That would be gross, wouldn't it? Someone sitting on the pot, eating Doritos while downing Gatorade? I think it's odd. Is it dumb to worry or think about? Possibly. But this is my blog so shut up.
Lastly, the subject of Amigo Porn. Now this isn't really a genre of porn, rather it's just a snappy title for the scenario I'm about to present. Say you're at a friends house, maybe there's even a group of you, and the friend leaves for whatever reason. To go get beer, to pick someone else up, to go suck off a rhino... You know, whatever. And you being the nosy bastard that you are, you start looking around for "interesting things." And you stumble onto what is obviously homemade porn.
Now here's the question. Your friend's not there. And it's porn. But it's not something you want to make you "hot." But do you watch anyway?
Take it another step further, and appropriate for this era, say your friend is the other player in a celebrity sex tape that gets out. Do you watch?
I tell you what I'd do.
I'd watch the fucker (literally and figuratively).
My reasons are quite simple. It's like watching animals on the Discovery Channel, with the added bonus that they're human. You might even learn something. But also, it's a chance to root on your buddy. I mean, you're probably not going to be there in person, with a big foam finger and an air horn, so what the hell, right? I'm just saying that I'd cook some popcorn and take in the show, that's all. No lust. No fantasy. Just pure science, and entertainment.
I'm not saying that this is something you oughta get into, like trading amongst your friends, but given the opportunity, why not watch? You can always turn it off if it gets "too real" or whatever. I'm just saying.
What would you do, kids? Call me crazy, but I'd like to know. Ponder it and then responder it. Yeah! :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment