Burlesque than what I Seeque

Hey, kids!  Well, I am on a blog-role lately, aren't I?  No one's complained yet so here I again:

I don't get, and never have gotten, the appeal of the Pussycat Dolls.

First of all, the name.  It's a singular noun, followed immediately by a plural noun.  That can't be right.

But mostly, I don't understand burlesque in any way, shape, or form.  Here's what I'd be thinking if I happened to stumble into a show:

"Oh, wow.  That girl's hot."

"Oh hey!  She's dancing around, girating and whatnot.  Nice!"

"Ooh, she's taking off her clothes.  Naughty-naughty."

"Hey wait!  She stopped taking off her clothes?!  Aww, and she was just getting to the best part!"

"Ha-rumph!"

See?  Complete dissatisfaction.  I mean, last I checked, you could go to any town in America, hell, the world, and see a full-on strip show.  A lot of places you can see some really freaky shit too but I'm a simple man with simple tastes.

So again, I'm not getting the point of a show that only goes part of the way.  It's like going to a buffet that only serves one course.  Or a movie that only shows the trailers.  I don't get it.  Why in a world where you can get everything, would you choose to be tantalized, get essentially nothing, and like it?

It's like the internet in a way.  EVERYTHING is on here.  ANYTHING you could ever want or imagine is ALL a click away.  And yet, you choose to activate a parental blocker, and you don't even have kids!

Another example I would offer happened after I watched The Fantastic Four on HBO one night.  It was so awful, I felt compelled to write a bulletin extolling my distaste for that celluloid catastrophy.  And a friend from high school replied to it and said, "But, dude, Jessica Alba's is in her underwear, man!"

To which I was like, "I'm on the INTERNET!  I can do so much better than that in, say, 2-keystrokes."  You've got to be kidding me.  And this coming from my peer, from the generation of extreme sports and THE INTERNET.  And yet I'm supposed to be pacified with Jalba (a nice, easy abbreviation) in her skivvies?!

So I'm wondering if burlesque is maybe some sort of anti-porn.  To which I say, "Fuck you!  Porn's great, sometimes." 

Is it supposed to be artsy?  'Cause seriously, it's just a chick sloshing around in a giant martini glass.

And in a way, isn't it just "dumbing-down" and making stripping more acceptable to the populace (hehe, it has the word "lace" in it)?  'Cause isn't that a "bad thing?"  I really don't have an answer to that 'cause I likes the female nudity.

Being that I was an avid supporter of all things Carmen Electra, I ask these questions.  And the last thing I want to be doing at a strip-show is scratching my head.

Ponder that shit, kids!  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!