Free Money is Me Money

Hey kids!  I'm a lot less angry than in my last blog and I'll tell you why.  See, I've been going to SDSU for 5 full years now and I've been using student loans to cover the costs of my "learning shit." 

As it stands now, I'm about 20 grand in debt.  That's right, 20,000 smackers.

As I head into my final (and I mean it) semester, I only expect that number to get larger.  It'll most likely be another 2300 bucks.

But of course since the world gets screwier by the minute, the federal government has decided to finally be the dear, dear pal they've always promised to be and they're giving me 3200 clams.  Straight up, free money.

That would leave me with about 1800 greenbacks (that's not a racial slur) leftover for books and my final filmie (which will most likely be the biggest wallet-buster to date).  All free, no taxes, no repaying.

Why did they wait till my last semester to give me free money?  Simple.  So they wouldn't have to give me a lot of free money.

It's not like I'm complaining cause I will take the check, cash it, and fill up my bathtub with it (in singles, of course) and splash around until I come within minutes of contracting Hep. C.  Seriously, money is SOoo dirty (literally and figuratively).

So that's some pretty good news, although, I don't get the money till damned near September.  I suppose that's for the best.  Can you imagine what I would spend that money on at Comic-Con in July??? 

Can you say Lord of the Rings sword collection???  Lightsabers???  A nine-way with all the chicks dressed as Princess Leia, in the slavegirl bikini, fromReturn of the Jedi???  Such decisions...

Ahhh... But in September I will be far too occupied for such things.  So, it's a "Tip of the Cap" to Uncle Sam, as Stephen Colbert would say.  I'll do my best to spend it wisely, which does not mean high-stakes poker in Vegas, or anything else in Vegas for that matter.  What I really need now is a big mattress or a fancy suitcase with a lock on it, like in the movies.  Hmmm...

So I'd like to end this blog by saying, "I'm rich, Biatch!" or by singing the theme song from The Jeffersons but I'll spare you that.  I guess I'll just end it like I've always wanted to:

"Here's to champagne wishes and caviar dreams."  :-P Pbbbbbbbbth!!!