That's it. I have had it.

Hey, kids.  Just wanted to let you all know that I've made some tough choices about my life and they are as follows:

-I'm quitting the movies.   Yes, technically, I haven't really started but I realized that I suck and I should probably die instead.

-I decided that I wasn't cool with dying yet, so I looked for other things I can do.

-I'm going to join the circus!  I saw an ad on Craig's List (and you guys know how I love the CL) and there was an opening for a juggling, high-wire artist.  I answered and they called back and they want me to start immediately.

-Apparently, they also would like me to try it blindfolded.  I wasn't prepared for this and I had to decline.

-I went back on the CL and saw an ad for a latin male dancer.  I called the number and they wanted me to start immediately.  However, at the end of the call, they asked for my last name and when they heard it, they hung up.  I assume that means I'm fired.

-I went back on CL and answered an ad by a BBW who's into S&M seeking an SBM.  Since I'm not good with acronyms, I called the number.  I got more details and immediately hung up.  My phone rang 2 seconds later, I answered and again hung up.  She's pushy.

-Then my phone rang again and I thought it was the same as the previous call.  But it wasn't.  It was a telemarketer.  After buying everything he was selling, I asked if they had any openings.  He said they did and then he put me through to his manager.  His manager answered and offered me his [the manager's] job.  I accepted and then I heard what sounded like a window opening and then a scream that faded away as the phone hit the floor.

-I figured that that was probably a bad sign so I decided not to go there.  I looked up and there was a pop-up ad for mail-order-husbands in Cambodia.  I clicked on it and it turned out that it was fake.  It was really a website for mail-order-husbands in Turkmenistan.  Still intrigued, I kept clicking ahead.  The pay was actually pretty reasonable (4 dollars a day plus chickens) and from what I could see of the women's eyes, I could quite possibly (fingers crossed) end up with a Grade-D+ hottie for a wife!

-I was also able to secure a job as a goat wrestler's apprentice.  Hopefully, that will lead to a lucrative career.

-So, to make a long story short, I ship off tomorrow.  From all accounts Manoush, my bride, has a lovely personality.  I'm not sure if they have computers there, let alone the internet, MySpace, cell phones, cheeseburgers, towels, healthcare, Television, or sanitary drinking water.  But if they do, I'll let you all know how it's going. 

Take Care.  

Be good. 

Namaste.

-Aaron