I Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident

Two things:

Vin Diesel is gay.  I'm serious about this, it's not just spite this time, I swear.  I've seen the dude do a couple of interviews this past week and I'm convinced.  Think about it.

Parkway Plaza is SOoo ghetto.  This is the cold, hard truth.  I was there today and I swear I couldn't tell if I'd walked into a mall or a rap video that's being shot in a trailer park.  It was awful.  East County blows already, but this is ridiculous.

Why is there a break in my spring?

Well, kiddies, it's been a long week off from school (though not long enough) and I've been quite the busy bunny (or something less gay).  Here's a run-down:

Monday: The first day, a magical one.  I sat around and did nothing for the most part and it was glorious!  I watched some of the World Baseball Classic, which has been awesome.  24 came on and rocked my fucking socks off!  Then I got off my ass and typed up a cover letter for my Disney internship application.  I had only put that off since New Years.

Tuesday: I went to my chiropractor/psychiatrist, Dr. Wells.  We talked about life and the future and he cracked my neck and spine in the most refreshing way.  Good-times.  On my drive home, I was informed that my 10th grade P.E. teacher was arrested for kiddie-porn.  Not cool.  Then I watched more WBC action!

Wednesday: Hump Day as it were.  I got a haircut which I was needing.  I began to wonder whether my barber knows how to cut white people hair?  Also, the barbers aren't hot like at SuperCuts.  But this place is SOoo much cheaper.  Sacrifices made. 

Gerry called me later that evening and we went with David H. to the Casbah and watched Bunky play a show.  They're on my friends list, check 'em out.  After they finished, this 3-piece chick band came on and it had a ridiculously hot guitar player/singer.  Too bad their music sucked, to me anyhow.  God she was hot!

Thursday: I woke up at the buttcrack of early and went to Gerry's house to rehearse a scene I'm acting in with Adam.  We're doing a scene from Bad Santain Gerry and Adam's directing class this coming Tuesday.  We hadn't even picked roles but when we did, it was obviously a role I was born to play, a black-midget in an elf costume.  Goodtimes. 

After we got tired of reading our lines, we went to Rei Do Gado (God of Meat), which is a Brazilian meat buffet downtown.  I'm not much of a meat-guy, per se, but to those that are, you will love it like your mother.

After that, I raced over to get the oil changed on my car.  I showed up 15 minutes late for my appointment but somehow they finished the job 15 minutes faster than they said they would.  Curious... 

Side Rant: While I was waiting for my car, Yu-Gi-Oh! was on the TV.  That show really blows donkey-assholes.  I'm serious.  It is dumbing down our children faster than Ritalin and Laguna Beach combined.  It's time to implement my policy of only allowing children to watch Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo, and Saved by the Bell re-runs.  They will thank us in the long run, trust me.

Later that night, Butch and I watched V for Vendetta.  It was a good flick, despite being a little wordy, and it made me want to murder the government.  What a tagline that would make!  It's good stuff though, check it out.  P.S. John Hurt really fuckin' brings it!  P.S.P.S. I love you, Natalie Portman!  P.S.P.S.P.S. Balls!

Friday: I had planned on meeting up with someone on this day... That didn't happen.  Whose fault is it?  That is yet to be determined.  I went with Butch to PB Bar and Grill to meet said person.  We waited in line for 45 minutes as it was St. Patrick's Day.

Side Rant: I don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day.  Two Reasons: 1) I'm not fucking Irish.  2) Go ahead and pinch me, ladies.  Reowr...

PB Bar and Grill was packed and thusly hotter than the devil's asshole, so I made an early exit by normal standards.

Saturday: I woke up slightly later than the buttcrack of early and went to Gerry's to rehearse again.  While we waited for Adam, Gerry and I jammed.  I played the acoustic guitar, Gerry played the tuba.  The Pixies "Where is my mind?" has never been the same since.  After we rehearsed some, Gerry, Gabe (Gerry's brother), and I all squeezed into Adam's Dodge Neon and we met Isaiah at HomeTown Buffet.  I ate a lot.  Isaiah overheard a child molestor trying to get a 9 year old soccer player's number.  That is gross.

After we had our fill-o-food, Gerry, Gabe, and I squeezed back into Adam's car but I squeezed too much and suffered a massive leg cramp that still hurts at this moment.  We went back to Gerry's and Isaiah, Gerry, and I basically dicked around for many hours.  Gerry's girlfriend, Hanah, showed up and the dicking around continued. 

After I left, I went home to recoop.  I ate tons of carbs and drank lots of soda because I had TWO parties to go to.  I went to my sister's housewarming/birthday and then Rica's housewarming/birthday.  Good-times mostly, maybe.  My sister's party was pretty mellow and mostly conversational.  Rica's party was too drunk and/or high.

Side Rant: It seems to me people feel that their birthday is a good excuse to get SUPER-trashed.  I think it's supposed to be a time to enjoy your day and your friends/family and not spend it passed out/vomiting.  This is based on more examples than just Rica's party.  Maybe I'm just crazy.  Rica, I still love you.

Sunday (today): I went to work.  Slow.  Ordered pizza.  Good.  Went home.  Thank God.

And that kids, was my Spring Break!  'Til next year...

Hot Damn! There's two of us!

So for reasons unnecessary to explain, I decided to do a search for myself on this here MySpace.  I typed in my first and last name and guess what I found...

There's 2 of us!

http://www.myspace.com/ahumbleattempt

Wait.  It's not really that cool.  Actually, it kinda sucks.  It appears this "other Aaron" is really into Christ/God, shitty music, spells the word "heck" with 2 C's, he's not funny, a former drug addict, and get this, he's a friend of harp seals!  That does it.  This man must be stopped. 

We must find a way to get this guy kicked off MySpace, for the good of the land. 

It's like the Highlander. "There can be only one."

He's over-age so that angle won't work.  There must be a way.  I need YOU, minions, to do this for me.  Think of it, how would you like your good name tarnished by some born-again who looks like a cross between Jerry Lewis and Screech from Saved by the Bell (Dustin Diamond)?!  Exactly.  It's even worse for girls. 

If we didn't have a cause before now, kids, this is it.  Let's get crackin'!  It's time for Sabotage, as the Beastie Boys once said.  Do what it takes.  Be ruthless.  Tip well.  And once we're done with this punk, we move on to bigger targets like Tony Danza!

It should be noted that in reality I have nothing and have never had anything against Tony Danza.

Awesomest Questions Ever!

A special thank you must go out to Barb for passing this one along.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person
explode. Who would you blow up?
Vin Diesel, he must be stopped.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Jack Johnson.  Sorry excuse for music...
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

George W. Bush
4. What is your favorite cheese?

Mozzarella.
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.What kind of sandwich would you have and what would be on it?
Peanut Butter and Jelly.  Cold.  I'm a simple man.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back). Who is it?

Salma Hayek.  She can call back if she wants.
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?

Jessica Simpson.
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
I'd probably give it to a homeless person because I wouldn't be thinking clearly after all that sex.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Sydney, apparently it's awesome.
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?

I'm not sure about exchange rates but I'd probably buy some Men At Work paraphernalia.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out... so what's it gonna be?
Nesquick, chocolate milk.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

1969.  I'd get Jimi Hendrix off of drugs.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Do not talk about Fight Club!
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

It's called "Jack Bauer Doesn't Sleep."  It's essentially "24" but it's on everyday all year round.
15. What is your favorite expletive?

How the fuck should I know?!
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Depends.  Are they M.I.L.F.s?
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?

Sure wouldn't be my good-for-nothing bed.  I guess a clean pair of underwear.  My mom always told me...
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Eat everything in sight.  This is too hard.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

Oh, believe you me, I would've avoided the vegetables.  Oh, but the power of flight will always be number 1.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
If I can't affect the outcome, then it's pretty pointless.  I guess a compilation of my All-Star sports moments from my entire life would suffice.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

There's an entire season of Little League that I could do without.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world, where?!

Canada.  I hear Vancouver's nice.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

Howl at the Moon in Universal City.  You bitch!  You slut!  You whore!
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude check it out I can fucking FLOAT!!"

I'd probably float to SDSU.  That would cover a lot of bases and I figure the chicks'll dig it.
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?
John F. Kennedy and he would be sworn in immediately.
26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My grandfather, he died when I was 5 and I never got to know him.  What a downer way to end this.

Hey! Look who's not dead!

Hey, kids.  I've been busy lately with all the filmy goodness so I haven't blogged. 

Then, what am I doing now?

Makin' up for it!

So, yeah, films are keeping me busy.  That and work.  And a slender social life.  It's really kind of sad. 

Hey, you know what else takes up a lot of time?

The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King extended cuts.  I just watched all 3 over the course of 3 days.  That does not equal 1 movie per night, you math majors.  I watched the first till I passed out, finished it the next night, started the second one till I passed out, then finshed it the next day, and then watched the final film in its entirety that same night.  Close to 11 hours of movies, kids, it's tough.  But not too tough forthis guy!

So that was nerdy.

I'm really feeling kind of drained in general.  I get plenty of sleep, don't get me wrong.  But still, I'm sluggish.  It's probably my diet, as always.  My house is like a diabetic's nightmare.  We have entirely too much junk food.  And late at night, the beast that lies within my torso says, "Yes, you should eat a quesadilla followed by a half-dozen Reese's Peanut Butter hearts and maybe wash it all down with an orange soda.  And repeat.  It's only 2am!"  It is ridiculous.

I don't really have much else to say.  Like I said, "busy... tired... very little fun... no love..."  So until next time, kids, stay out of the fridge.  Good-bye.