Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Don't Give A Shitter

Hey, kids!  I've really got this blogging regularly thing down again, huh?  No?  Shut up.

You kids heard of this thing called, Twitter?  It's a web-place where people post things pretty much all the time, little things, kinda like the status here on MySpace.  Yeah, a lotta people are on it.  Yeah, even friends of mine.  Good friends (as opposed to god-friends, which are friends that my parents appointed at my birth) too.  It's getting tons of publicity, especially due to the celebrities who twitter, or tweet, as it is known.  It's the latest rage, you know, 'cause having a blackberry, an iPhone, a MySpace, a Facebook, and multiple email addresses isn't enough for some people.  But how do I really feel?

I think it's fucked.  I think it's lame and I don't care if that bothers you (you being: anybody).  I really don't care what anybody else is thinking from minute to minute, hour to hour.  I don't even care what I'M thinking about half the time!  And people have conversations back and forth all day too.  What ever happened to texting?  Has that become obsolete somehow?!  Most of the time they're just trading Joss Whedon references anyway.  Does blogging take too much effort?  Believe me, I know it's not easy, what with the DVRing and the RockBanding, but I make the effort.  Otherwise, it's just another glorified message board.  I just don't get it.  By all means, respond to this blog on your twitter page.  Tweet your asses off.

On another note: You guys notice that the products they sell on TV still take 4-6 weeks to deliver?  What the fuck's that about?!  I could go to Pizza Hut's website, click my mouse 4 times, and have a pizza delivered within an hour.  AN HOUR (not really though, it's 3am)!  Have we not figured this mail thing out yet?  It's not like they're giving you free shipping either.  Generally, they charge about 10 bucks for processing and shipping.  On Amazon, for that price, I could get my items in 3 days or less.  On Tuesday, I ordered a BluRay and a book, paid 0 dollars for shipping, and it'll be here by Monday.  So what's their problem? 

Another thing:  Anyone else absolutely hate all the NFL Draft coverage?  God, I do.  Fuckin' season ended 3 months ago!  Basketball and hockey are in the playoffs, baseball's in full swing, soccer's... soccer, and you're dissecting who the Lions might bring into their suck-fest?!  What's next?  Covering grade school kids picking teams for kickball?!  I mean, is over an hour EVERYDAY necessary?  And seriously, can I kill Mel Kiper Jr., please?  Please?  Pleeeeeeeeease?  Can I at least shoot him in the hair?  I'll take it.  Seriously, does this guy do anything other than worship amateur football players day in and out?  There's no science to it.  It's a crap shoot.  Use a magic 8-ball and then put it back in it's rightful place: up your ass.

Well, that's enough for me, kids.  A little angry maybe, but hey, it's hot here in Burbank.  Peace out.  :-P   Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Crack-tual

Hey, Kids!  It's hot.  So this call actually happened earlier tonight.  I deemed it funny enough to share.

My cell phone rings.  It says, "Anonymous."  This should be fun.  I honestly thought it was going to be my boss.  It wasn't.

Me:  "Hello?"

Person:  "Hello."  It's a woman.  Kinda sounds like my mom.  I play dumb in case it is.

Me:  "Hello?"

Woman:  "Hello.  Who's this?"

Me:  "Who's this?"

Woman:  "Who's this?"

Me:  "You called me.  You go first."

Woman:  "This is [mumble].  Is this Anthony?"

Me:  "No."

Woman:  "Is this Michael?"

Me:  "Nope.  Nor is it Hall."

Woman:  "[mumble mumble] Sorry, I dialed the wrong number."

Me:  "Yep."

Click.  I make gesture towards phone as if to say, "You believe this fuckin' guy?"  Very Jersey of me, I know.  I don't think she got my Anthony Michael Hall joke.  Hopefully, you did, kids.

:-P    Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Got Your Teabags Right Here

Hey, kids!

So a bunch of assholes around this country are completely numb-fuck-nuts and throwing "tea parties" in protest of President Obama's stimulus package, where they throw tea bags into various bodies of water.  Fox News has pretty much sponsored this too, which is all the more infuriating.  The idea that Sean Hannity, John Gibson, and Glen Beck (all known douchebags) have this much power is absurd.  This is especially true when you consider the fact that the "tea parties" that they're throwing have nothing to do with the original, nor the spirit of that event.

Let's hop in the wayback machine for a second.  The original Boston Tea Party was held in protest of taxation 
without representation.  Barack Obama was democratically elected.  Remember that?  And his stimulus package (hehe... stimulus package) is being voted on by elected representatives of the public.  So these bumblefucks are represented.  Write your congressman if have a beef.  And tea.  What about the tea?!  Back in the 1700s, tea was a luxury.  Today, what's it cost?  Two bits?  I honestly don't know, but I don't think that Barack Obama is losing any sleep over lost tea.  Dump a few tons of Marlboros in a river and he might care (he smokes).  And finally, in the original act, the protestors stole the tea while disguised as Native Americans.  I haven't seen anybody dressed up.  Well, unless you count the redneck costumes.  And are they stealing the tea?  Hell no.  Goddamn, I wish I'd have bought stock in tea last week.  Fuck, I'd be rollin'!

I'm just uber pissed that when Bush spent trillions, it was patriotic, AND conservative!  But when Obama does it, it's totalitarian socialism.  And that makes Glen Beck cry.  Fuck that twat.

On another note: You seen the ads for freetriplescore.com?  I fucking hate them.  First off, they have "normal folks" trying to say the website name 3 times fast, which I can totally see right through as being market research bullshit about repeating the product name so people remember it.  But what's worse is they say the domain name 80 billion times in 30 seconds, but the actual web address, as listed on the screen, isn't actually freetriplescore.com.  It's freetriplescore8.com.  Were 1-7 taken.  It's annoying and stupid.  Don't trust it.

Also, I see this a lot with other commercials where they have a person talking about something, they finish, there's a pause, and then they cut to footage of the person laughing.  Maybe this is too "shop-talkie" for non-film nerds but it's clearly another part of this weird trend of showing you something and then (or sometimes simultaneously) showing something from behind the scenes.  Like when you see a person talking and they cut to a side camera angle while the person's still talking.  It's completely unmotivated.  The laughter is the same.  It bothers me.  If it's just me, well, I'm used to that.

That's all for now, kids.  Rock on, or get fucked.  :-P   Pbbbbbbth!!!