"Freeze Frame" by the J. Geils Band is the worst song in the history of music.
It can be heard in the current Papa John's commercials (yes, it's that horrible fucking song).
It has also been heard in every dreadful collection of shitty video clips, a laAmerica's Funniest Home Videos.
It also screams into your head in every fucked up sports highlight reel that looks like it was shot by an epileptic, autistic child with a cell phone camera. Mind you, these highlights were likely shot before cell phones and despite the availability of far better quality equipment. And they still show them today. Seriously, try watching TV on a Saturday afternoon sometime. Look for shows with titles like "wacky" or "whacked out."
It's tragic and someone will die. Unfortunately, it'll be some poor sap with nowhere to go. He'll (no offense, ladies) probably have Dorito crumbs on his chest and socks with sandals on. He'll be looking for a game to watch and he won't find one. He'll see the word "sports" in the title and figure it's okay. And he'll succumb to the aural aneurysm that will slowly take his life. And he probably deserves to die, for whatever reason, but not in such a cruel way.
Because true justice would result in death, for J. Geils and his band.
Damn them. Damn them all to hell.
:-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
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