Long Dong Survey

DO YOU

Play an instrument?: I'm slowly remembering the guitar.

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: Unfortunately, I'm probably close. Hire me!

Like to sing?: In the comfort of my loneliness.

Have a job?: Um, no.

Have a mobile?: My parents have a motorhome. Who wrote this? David Beckham? Fuck that guy.

Like to play sport?: David Beckham is retarded. Yes, I like sport.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Negative.

Have a crush on someone?: I'll have to get back to you on that.

Live out side Australia?: Oh, I see why this is horribly written. Yes, yes I do.

Have special talents/ skills?: Ear wiggling and sheer animal magnetism.

Exercise daily?: My mind. My body's a little broken right now.

Like school?: I did at times.

Sing the alphabet backwards?: Why sing it? I can but no singies.

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: Is there any other way?

Speak another language?: Si. Yo speako.

Go a day without food?: If I'm shooting a movie, there is no food nor bathrooms. But there is water and lots of it.

Stay up for more than 24 hours?: I did on All Hallow's Eve.

Roll your tongue?: No. My tongue has curves not rolls, which is way hotter.

Eat a whole pizza?: Oh shit yeah.

HAVE YOU EVER

Snuck out of the house?: Never had to.

Cried to get out of trouble?: Why do you keep yelling at me...?

Gotten lost in your city?: Seriously, where is Burbank?

Seen a shooting star?: Stars cannot be trusted.

Been to any other countries besides Australia?: Let Australia go! MEXICO!!!

Had a serious surgery?: Wisdom teeth. Oh, and I've been scoped and probed like a bastard.

Stolen something important to someone else?: I doubt it.

Solved a rubiks cube?: Fuck no. I've had sex.

Gone out in public in your pajamas?: I hardly leave my room in pajamas.

Cried over a girl?: You crazy bitches...

Cried over a boy?: No.

Kissed a random stranger? Uh, pretty much.

Hugged a random stranger?: It's the only way.

Been in a fist fight?: Luckily not.

Been arrested?: No. I'm a good boy. And a gangsta!

Done drugs?: No. I'm a good boy.

Had alcohol?: Yes, everyone.

Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: Oh yeah.

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: No.

Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/ ect.?: I think so... Clearly, I still don't know.

Swore at your parents?: I try not to.

Kicked a guy where it hurts?: The deadliest weapon I know.

Been in love?: Not actually, you saucy minx.

Been close to love?: I doubt it.

Been to a casino?: Lost my share o'dollas.

Ran over an animal and killed it?: A cat. It was unavoidable and I was horrified.

Broken a bone?: Left wrist.

Gotten stitches?: Never.

Had a water ballon fight in winter?: No.

Drank a whole gallon of milk in an hour?: You'd die. Stupid fucking fratboys...

Made home made muffins?: No.

Bitten someone?: Only for fun...

Been to the Gold Coast Theme Parks?: Where?

More than twice?: What?

Been to Niagra Falls?: I heard it's overrated.

Burped in someones face?: Pretty close.

Gotton chicken pox?: So I'm told.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME

Brushed your teeth: A couple hours ago.

Saw a movie in theaters: 30 Days of Night

Read a book: Read a book! Read a MOTHERFUCKIN' BOOK!

Had a snow day: Never. Been in a flood though. Oh, Chicago...

Had a party: Many times. Where were you?

Had a slumber party: Long ago.

Made fun of someone: Hours ago.

Tripped infront of someone: Last Sunday night. My arm doesn't hurt anymore.

Went to the grocery store: Monday. Spending money sucks.

Got sick: A couple weeks ago.

Cursed: Earlier in this survey.

PICK ONE

Friut/ Vegetables: Fruit.

Black/ White: Black

Lights on/ Lights off: Depends on the situation...

TV/ Movie: Movie

Car/ Truck: Car

Body spray/ Lotion: Neither.

Cash/ Cheque: Debit card.

Pillows/ Blanket: Blankets.

Headache/ Stomach ache: Headache.

Paint/ Charcoal: I prefer to grill with charcoal.

Chinese food/ Mexican food: A million times Mexican!

Summer/ Winter: Winter

Snow/ Rain: Rain

Foggy/ Misty: Misty

Rock/ Rap: Rockadocious.

Meat/ Veggies: Good lord, meat!

Boy/ Girl: I love me the ladies.

Choc/ Vanilla/ Strawberry: Chocolate

Sprinkles/ Icing: Icing

Cake/ Pie: Cake

Apple/ Banana: Apple

Beach/ Pools: I can see into the pool.

Hugs/ Kisses: Both, as often as possible.

Cookies/ Muffins: Cookies.

Wallet/ Pocket: Wallet

Window/ Door: Context much?

Cat/ Dog: Dog.

Long sleeve/ Short sleeve: Short sleeve.

Pants/ Shorts: Shorts

Spring/ Autumn: Autumn

Clouds/ Clear sky: Clouds

Moon/ Mars: Moon

FRIENDSHIP

How many friends do you have?: Tons. In LA, 7?

Do you have a best friend?: I don't judge.

Have you ever liked one of your friends?: Far too often. I'm cool with it. Sorta.

Do you have more guy friends or girl friends?: Guy friends

Have you ever lost a friend?: Yes. Several ways, including death unfortunately.

Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?: Mostly.

Whats the nicest thing you have ever done for a friend?: Taken care of an obliterated drunk. It's okay because I care.

Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you? I don't recall anything specific. I don't ask for much.

Do you miss any of your old friends?: Totally.

What friend have you known the longest?: Wayne. 20 years... Holy shit.

Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?: Nope.

If so, what?: What?

How often do you spend time with your friends?: Daily.

Do any of your friends drive?: Generally speaking.

Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?: Drive-by eggings.

What do your friends think of you?: Aaron is the coolest!


LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP

Have you ever been in love?: Nope.

If you have, with who?: Nope.

Are you single? Yep.

Are you in a relationship?: Nope.

If so, for how long?: Nope.

Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: Several.

What is your idea of the best date?: Pizza, DVD, snugglies, extracurricular snugglies...

What was your first kiss like?: Good enough. It hit the spot.

How old were you when you got your first kiss?: 17

Do you think love is a load of shit?: Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Whats the best experience you've ever had with the opposite sex? Just honesty and understanding. It's pretty rare.

How many boyfriends/ girlfriends have you had?: 0/3

Whats the most sexual thing you've done with the opposite sex?: You figure it out.

WORD ASSOCIATION

Slippers: And fallers.

Hat: Safety Dance!

Hard: Core

Free: Score!

Space: Can kill you. Seriously, I watch "The Universe" on the History Channel.

Taste: Niiiiiiice.

Red: Ness.

Deep: Thoughts by Jack Handey

HearT: Fart

Cheese: Fart

Rain: Fart

Work: Office chair fart

Pedal: Rikshaw.

Head: Face.

Bed: Soft

Fluff: 'er

Race: face.

Jump: Might as well.

I....

am: a bit lonely.

want: a job.

need: a job.

crave: attention moderately.

love: affection.

hate: uncertainty and/or overreaction. Oh, and doubt. Doubt sucks.

did: a whole lot of nothing today. This is my peak of productivity.

feel: jobless.

miss: my doggies.

am annoyed by: acid reflux.

would rather: be typing at a desk than on my bed.

am tired of: my own paranoia. Seriously, shove it, you!

will always: be the nice guy. Oh, it's horrible.

SILLY STUFF

What is your favourite genre of music?: That old time rock and roll. But I don't really like that song.

What day is it?: Thursday morning.

What time is it now?: 2:08am PST.

Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?: No.

If you could have any magical power what would it be?: I want to fly. No traffic.

Have you ever had a picnic?: I guess.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

funny?: Seriously.

Pretty?: Irresistably.

Lazy?: Incredibly.

Sarcastic?: Hardly.

Hyper?: Can be.

Friendly?: Maybe.

Strong?: Integrally.

Smart?: Recklessly.

Talented?: Foolishly.

Dorky?: Handsomely.

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)

high: Britney
skip: Aaron (my roomie)
dance: Me on Halloween. What the fuck, right?
lonely: Michael Richards
open: Amanda
flower: Mom
window: Peeper. I don't know any.
psycho: Frank
brain freeze: Isaiah
sassy: Hooch
jelly: Jelly. He did a bang up job for us in Pain.
special: George W. Bush

FOR/ AGAINST

Suicide: Not for me.
love: For me. That'd be awesome!
drunken drivers: Against
airplanes: For
war: Against. There is no victory.
rock music: For!
school: For somebody else to pay for.
surveys: For. Bring 'em on.
parents: For. I miss 'em.
cars: For.
killing: For. Sometimes it's just necessary.
tea: Against. Unless Snapple counts, 'cause I've had at least four today.
clothes: For.

WOULD YOU EVER

Play strip poker?: I am getting better so yeah.
Run away?: No need.
Curse at a teacher?: Whoever's got it coming.
Not take a shower for a week? Extreme circumstances.
Ask someone out?: Been there done that. It's life affirming.