"Home" For The Holiday

Hey, kids!  So I'm back in San Diego for 5 days to celebrate Thanksgiving.  It's actually my least favorite holiday of the year.  The idea of it is fine, although, why not appreciate things everyday rather than on one random Thursday in November?!  But it's mostly because I don't like turkey.  Never have, never will.  There are fine cooks in my family so that's not the problem.  I'm just not a big fan of birds.  Chicken too.  The only fowl I like is the kind that hardly resembles a former living creature (i.e. nuggets, fillets, or patties).  Call me weird.  Seriously, I could give a fuck.

The part that's weirder this year is that I'm home.  Home.  But it doesn't really feel like home anymore.  LA feels like home now.  It's odd saying that but it's true.  Even though I'm only partially "living" there (no job = hardly alive), I take comfort in being there now.  I come here to San Diego after a month and change of living away and it feels odd.  I don't want to touch anything, almost like when you go to a friend's house you've never been to. 

But I have been here.  It was almost 20 years before I moved.  But now there's a new puppy, a new TV, my room is gone, and my parents are planning more major reconfiguring of all the rooms.  I guess it's kind of like Garden State, when Zach Braff talks about home being more of a feeling than an actual place.  ZB knows.  ZB is wise.

I guess I just really like where I am in LA.  And it's not like I ran back here feeling some separation anxiety.  I love to see my friends and family and that's still great but this house just isn't.  And that's so weird because it was so hard to leave.  I'm kinda sad.  I may also be delusional (it's always an option that I acknowledge).

So I guess what I'm saying, kids, is: don't leave home.  No, that's not right.  But believe me when I say that home is where the heart is (cliche, I know).  My heart's just in Burbank, I guess... Maybe it has been all along... No, now I'm just being delusional.  

Happy Thanksgiving, kids.

:-P   Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Long Dong Survey

DO YOU

Play an instrument?: I'm slowly remembering the guitar.

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: Unfortunately, I'm probably close. Hire me!

Like to sing?: In the comfort of my loneliness.

Have a job?: Um, no.

Have a mobile?: My parents have a motorhome. Who wrote this? David Beckham? Fuck that guy.

Like to play sport?: David Beckham is retarded. Yes, I like sport.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Negative.

Have a crush on someone?: I'll have to get back to you on that.

Live out side Australia?: Oh, I see why this is horribly written. Yes, yes I do.

Have special talents/ skills?: Ear wiggling and sheer animal magnetism.

Exercise daily?: My mind. My body's a little broken right now.

Like school?: I did at times.

Sing the alphabet backwards?: Why sing it? I can but no singies.

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: Is there any other way?

Speak another language?: Si. Yo speako.

Go a day without food?: If I'm shooting a movie, there is no food nor bathrooms. But there is water and lots of it.

Stay up for more than 24 hours?: I did on All Hallow's Eve.

Roll your tongue?: No. My tongue has curves not rolls, which is way hotter.

Eat a whole pizza?: Oh shit yeah.

HAVE YOU EVER

Snuck out of the house?: Never had to.

Cried to get out of trouble?: Why do you keep yelling at me...?

Gotten lost in your city?: Seriously, where is Burbank?

Seen a shooting star?: Stars cannot be trusted.

Been to any other countries besides Australia?: Let Australia go! MEXICO!!!

Had a serious surgery?: Wisdom teeth. Oh, and I've been scoped and probed like a bastard.

Stolen something important to someone else?: I doubt it.

Solved a rubiks cube?: Fuck no. I've had sex.

Gone out in public in your pajamas?: I hardly leave my room in pajamas.

Cried over a girl?: You crazy bitches...

Cried over a boy?: No.

Kissed a random stranger? Uh, pretty much.

Hugged a random stranger?: It's the only way.

Been in a fist fight?: Luckily not.

Been arrested?: No. I'm a good boy. And a gangsta!

Done drugs?: No. I'm a good boy.

Had alcohol?: Yes, everyone.

Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: Oh yeah.

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: No.

Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/ ect.?: I think so... Clearly, I still don't know.

Swore at your parents?: I try not to.

Kicked a guy where it hurts?: The deadliest weapon I know.

Been in love?: Not actually, you saucy minx.

Been close to love?: I doubt it.

Been to a casino?: Lost my share o'dollas.

Ran over an animal and killed it?: A cat. It was unavoidable and I was horrified.

Broken a bone?: Left wrist.

Gotten stitches?: Never.

Had a water ballon fight in winter?: No.

Drank a whole gallon of milk in an hour?: You'd die. Stupid fucking fratboys...

Made home made muffins?: No.

Bitten someone?: Only for fun...

Been to the Gold Coast Theme Parks?: Where?

More than twice?: What?

Been to Niagra Falls?: I heard it's overrated.

Burped in someones face?: Pretty close.

Gotton chicken pox?: So I'm told.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME

Brushed your teeth: A couple hours ago.

Saw a movie in theaters: 30 Days of Night

Read a book: Read a book! Read a MOTHERFUCKIN' BOOK!

Had a snow day: Never. Been in a flood though. Oh, Chicago...

Had a party: Many times. Where were you?

Had a slumber party: Long ago.

Made fun of someone: Hours ago.

Tripped infront of someone: Last Sunday night. My arm doesn't hurt anymore.

Went to the grocery store: Monday. Spending money sucks.

Got sick: A couple weeks ago.

Cursed: Earlier in this survey.

PICK ONE

Friut/ Vegetables: Fruit.

Black/ White: Black

Lights on/ Lights off: Depends on the situation...

TV/ Movie: Movie

Car/ Truck: Car

Body spray/ Lotion: Neither.

Cash/ Cheque: Debit card.

Pillows/ Blanket: Blankets.

Headache/ Stomach ache: Headache.

Paint/ Charcoal: I prefer to grill with charcoal.

Chinese food/ Mexican food: A million times Mexican!

Summer/ Winter: Winter

Snow/ Rain: Rain

Foggy/ Misty: Misty

Rock/ Rap: Rockadocious.

Meat/ Veggies: Good lord, meat!

Boy/ Girl: I love me the ladies.

Choc/ Vanilla/ Strawberry: Chocolate

Sprinkles/ Icing: Icing

Cake/ Pie: Cake

Apple/ Banana: Apple

Beach/ Pools: I can see into the pool.

Hugs/ Kisses: Both, as often as possible.

Cookies/ Muffins: Cookies.

Wallet/ Pocket: Wallet

Window/ Door: Context much?

Cat/ Dog: Dog.

Long sleeve/ Short sleeve: Short sleeve.

Pants/ Shorts: Shorts

Spring/ Autumn: Autumn

Clouds/ Clear sky: Clouds

Moon/ Mars: Moon

FRIENDSHIP

How many friends do you have?: Tons. In LA, 7?

Do you have a best friend?: I don't judge.

Have you ever liked one of your friends?: Far too often. I'm cool with it. Sorta.

Do you have more guy friends or girl friends?: Guy friends

Have you ever lost a friend?: Yes. Several ways, including death unfortunately.

Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?: Mostly.

Whats the nicest thing you have ever done for a friend?: Taken care of an obliterated drunk. It's okay because I care.

Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you? I don't recall anything specific. I don't ask for much.

Do you miss any of your old friends?: Totally.

What friend have you known the longest?: Wayne. 20 years... Holy shit.

Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?: Nope.

If so, what?: What?

How often do you spend time with your friends?: Daily.

Do any of your friends drive?: Generally speaking.

Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?: Drive-by eggings.

What do your friends think of you?: Aaron is the coolest!


LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP

Have you ever been in love?: Nope.

If you have, with who?: Nope.

Are you single? Yep.

Are you in a relationship?: Nope.

If so, for how long?: Nope.

Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: Several.

What is your idea of the best date?: Pizza, DVD, snugglies, extracurricular snugglies...

What was your first kiss like?: Good enough. It hit the spot.

How old were you when you got your first kiss?: 17

Do you think love is a load of shit?: Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Whats the best experience you've ever had with the opposite sex? Just honesty and understanding. It's pretty rare.

How many boyfriends/ girlfriends have you had?: 0/3

Whats the most sexual thing you've done with the opposite sex?: You figure it out.

WORD ASSOCIATION

Slippers: And fallers.

Hat: Safety Dance!

Hard: Core

Free: Score!

Space: Can kill you. Seriously, I watch "The Universe" on the History Channel.

Taste: Niiiiiiice.

Red: Ness.

Deep: Thoughts by Jack Handey

HearT: Fart

Cheese: Fart

Rain: Fart

Work: Office chair fart

Pedal: Rikshaw.

Head: Face.

Bed: Soft

Fluff: 'er

Race: face.

Jump: Might as well.

I....

am: a bit lonely.

want: a job.

need: a job.

crave: attention moderately.

love: affection.

hate: uncertainty and/or overreaction. Oh, and doubt. Doubt sucks.

did: a whole lot of nothing today. This is my peak of productivity.

feel: jobless.

miss: my doggies.

am annoyed by: acid reflux.

would rather: be typing at a desk than on my bed.

am tired of: my own paranoia. Seriously, shove it, you!

will always: be the nice guy. Oh, it's horrible.

SILLY STUFF

What is your favourite genre of music?: That old time rock and roll. But I don't really like that song.

What day is it?: Thursday morning.

What time is it now?: 2:08am PST.

Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?: No.

If you could have any magical power what would it be?: I want to fly. No traffic.

Have you ever had a picnic?: I guess.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

funny?: Seriously.

Pretty?: Irresistably.

Lazy?: Incredibly.

Sarcastic?: Hardly.

Hyper?: Can be.

Friendly?: Maybe.

Strong?: Integrally.

Smart?: Recklessly.

Talented?: Foolishly.

Dorky?: Handsomely.

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)

high: Britney
skip: Aaron (my roomie)
dance: Me on Halloween. What the fuck, right?
lonely: Michael Richards
open: Amanda
flower: Mom
window: Peeper. I don't know any.
psycho: Frank
brain freeze: Isaiah
sassy: Hooch
jelly: Jelly. He did a bang up job for us in Pain.
special: George W. Bush

FOR/ AGAINST

Suicide: Not for me.
love: For me. That'd be awesome!
drunken drivers: Against
airplanes: For
war: Against. There is no victory.
rock music: For!
school: For somebody else to pay for.
surveys: For. Bring 'em on.
parents: For. I miss 'em.
cars: For.
killing: For. Sometimes it's just necessary.
tea: Against. Unless Snapple counts, 'cause I've had at least four today.
clothes: For.

WOULD YOU EVER

Play strip poker?: I am getting better so yeah.
Run away?: No need.
Curse at a teacher?: Whoever's got it coming.
Not take a shower for a week? Extreme circumstances.
Ask someone out?: Been there done that. It's life affirming.