Hey, kids! So I’ve got a few things to say.
First off, what’s the deal with all the news programs doing exposes on the "cheating epidemic?" Just because a couple of politicians (AHEM* sleazebags, kinda redundant, I know), doesn’t mean everybody is. That’s not to say that there aren’t various fucktards who can’t be monogomous to save their souls (what souls?!). There are. There always have been. Many a douchebag have gotten greedy and fucked around on some unsuspecting somebody (male or female) with some other somebody (male or female). That shit happens. But without those cocknozzles (t.m.), good guys like me (Awww...) wouldn’t stand out like the sore thumbs we are (and kinda look like, I had to go there). So hooray for me, I guess. But if getting cheated on makes a girl hyper-suspicious of me, that kinda blows. I guess there’s a trade-off. Moral of the story: Keep it in ya pants, Safety Dance. I apologize for that. But seriously, you rhyme something else with pants!
Secondly, Fancy Feast cat food has come out with a line of gourmet inspired meals. Now, they do realize that they’re making gourmet foods for animals that lick themselves ritually. My idea would be to have a line of food that tastes like cat’s body parts. You know, leg, paw-flavored, or genital flavored (opposite your cat’s, if they’re lonely, or the their own). It’s my idea. Screw you.
Can I just say that I love The Moment Of Truth? I can, and I did.
Amanda has just informed me that there are now, on the planet Earth, in the United States of America: Pillow-Fighting leagues. That’s right. You score points based on technique. Now first off, pillow fights used be sexy. Thanks for killing that. I mean, you score points in basketball, and it’s decidedly unsexy. Second of all, if you can’t get seriously injured, it’s not a sport. What’s the worst that could happen? A feather sneaks out and pokes you in the eye. Well, actually, that sounds pretty cool. But still, this is retarded (and not in an Oscar-nominatedRain Man, I Am Sam, Forrest Gump, or Sling Blade sorta way).
So, the reality show I worked on premiered 2 weeks ago, and guess whose name’s not in the credits? It’s me! Seriously, that fucking blows your dead great-uncle Louis. I woke up at 3am for that. Fucknuts. I may be on next weeks episode though so check it out if you’re not busy getting laid (’cause nothing should interfere with that). Sunday 9pm TLC. That’s all the plug that they get.
That’s what I’ve got for now. Peace, youse guys. :-P Pbbbbbbbbth!!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
"I. Am. Job."
Hey, kids! So if you haven't heard, we can officially celebrate. I am employed. I got a job at FotoKem in Burbank. They process film dailies for most of the film and TV shows that you see. Every now and again you can see the FotoKem logo at the end of a film or show's credits. So they're legit. They ain't goin' anywhere. And more importantly, I ain't goin' to have to move back home! It's an awesome feeling.
And they're starting me out a pretty solid starting rate, and actually more than what they had originally offered. I didn't have to negotiate. I was pleasantly surprised.
But I know what you're thinking. Mo' money, mo' problems. This is somewhat true. I don't know what shift I'll be working yet, though it's most likely some sort of swing shift (afternoon into evenings). Hopefully it won't be graveyards, but that is possible. Luckily, I'll have weekends off. And technically, I've never actually worked full-time, 40 hours a week. So that's gonna be an adjustment. But it's better than adjusting to eating soup hobo-style and living in a cardboard box. I'm pretty sure anyway.
Now, there may be some of you back in San Diego who were hoping that I'd go broke and move back home because you'd feel superior or you'll have a commiserater or you're secretly in love with me, and to those of you: I am sorry. It's just not meant to be. :-C
But to those of you who true fans of yours truly, I think that this is gonna be good. I'm still gonna be looking for "the opportunity of a lifetime" because this job isn't what I want to do ultimately. And I'm also going to continue to make films on my off-hours. I just don't have to take anything and be glad about it anymore. And who knows who I'll meet and what friends I'll make. It's exciting to a degree.
Another good thing is I can start to look for softball leagues, once my schedule is in place. I need to get my glove on and run around the bases again. It's been way too long. I miss you, babe. Yes, my glove is a babe, despite having a man's name on her (Chris Sabo).
One last bonus, now that I'm of the employed status, "Hello, ladies..."
I would be remiss if I didn't tell you about my drug test experience. First off, drug tests are bizarre. Period. "Here. Go pee in this cup." Weird... When I went for this drug test, I followed the nurse (a guy, or murse) back into the office, where I assumed he'd hand me the cup, point me to the bathroom, and say, "Have at it (and don't flush)." But instead, he leads me into a room and hands me a gown as he tells me that the company I'm working for has a "rather extensive drug policy." So I'm thinking I'm gonna have to piss in front of this guy. "I'm not in the NFL," I thought. Thankfully, I did not. I put on the gown, he came back in the room, gave me the cup, pointed me to the bathroom, and said "Have at it (and don't flush)."
But it doesn't go uneventfully. It never does with me. As I walk out of the room, I notice that the bathroom's right across from me. But not only that, 5 feet to my right, is a waiting room for another office, only separated from the office I'm in by an all glass, see-thru door. I'm already grabbing the back of my gown, keeping the pre-show to a minimal. I go in the bathroom, do my thing (I really had to go), and start to head back to the little office where my clothes are. Now between making sure not to spill the cup and turning the door handles, I've got no free hand to close up my gown. So for a few fleeting moments, the folks in the adjacent waiting room got to see the color of my underwear and whether or not I've got that hot, celebrity, full-body tan (I do not). Oh well, I guess.
So there you have it, kids. I's gots a J.O.B.. It's right across the street from The Tonight Show set and 2-5 blocks away from Disney and Warner Bros. Studios. So it's like I'm there. Far as you know.
Special Thanks to Eugene again, for passing along my resume to the right peeps. He's grade-A, kids, and ladies...
And in a last bit 'o news, the reality show I worked on, I Can Make You Thin: With Paul McKenna premiers on March 16th at 9pm and then airs every Sunday night at 9pm for the next 5 weeks. If you need to drop a few lbs (pronounced "lubs"), it might help. I don't know. I never met the guy. Look for my name in the credits under, "Production Assistants."
Thanks for playing along, kids! :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
And they're starting me out a pretty solid starting rate, and actually more than what they had originally offered. I didn't have to negotiate. I was pleasantly surprised.
But I know what you're thinking. Mo' money, mo' problems. This is somewhat true. I don't know what shift I'll be working yet, though it's most likely some sort of swing shift (afternoon into evenings). Hopefully it won't be graveyards, but that is possible. Luckily, I'll have weekends off. And technically, I've never actually worked full-time, 40 hours a week. So that's gonna be an adjustment. But it's better than adjusting to eating soup hobo-style and living in a cardboard box. I'm pretty sure anyway.
Now, there may be some of you back in San Diego who were hoping that I'd go broke and move back home because you'd feel superior or you'll have a commiserater or you're secretly in love with me, and to those of you: I am sorry. It's just not meant to be. :-C
But to those of you who true fans of yours truly, I think that this is gonna be good. I'm still gonna be looking for "the opportunity of a lifetime" because this job isn't what I want to do ultimately. And I'm also going to continue to make films on my off-hours. I just don't have to take anything and be glad about it anymore. And who knows who I'll meet and what friends I'll make. It's exciting to a degree.
Another good thing is I can start to look for softball leagues, once my schedule is in place. I need to get my glove on and run around the bases again. It's been way too long. I miss you, babe. Yes, my glove is a babe, despite having a man's name on her (Chris Sabo).
One last bonus, now that I'm of the employed status, "Hello, ladies..."
I would be remiss if I didn't tell you about my drug test experience. First off, drug tests are bizarre. Period. "Here. Go pee in this cup." Weird... When I went for this drug test, I followed the nurse (a guy, or murse) back into the office, where I assumed he'd hand me the cup, point me to the bathroom, and say, "Have at it (and don't flush)." But instead, he leads me into a room and hands me a gown as he tells me that the company I'm working for has a "rather extensive drug policy." So I'm thinking I'm gonna have to piss in front of this guy. "I'm not in the NFL," I thought. Thankfully, I did not. I put on the gown, he came back in the room, gave me the cup, pointed me to the bathroom, and said "Have at it (and don't flush)."
But it doesn't go uneventfully. It never does with me. As I walk out of the room, I notice that the bathroom's right across from me. But not only that, 5 feet to my right, is a waiting room for another office, only separated from the office I'm in by an all glass, see-thru door. I'm already grabbing the back of my gown, keeping the pre-show to a minimal. I go in the bathroom, do my thing (I really had to go), and start to head back to the little office where my clothes are. Now between making sure not to spill the cup and turning the door handles, I've got no free hand to close up my gown. So for a few fleeting moments, the folks in the adjacent waiting room got to see the color of my underwear and whether or not I've got that hot, celebrity, full-body tan (I do not). Oh well, I guess.
So there you have it, kids. I's gots a J.O.B.. It's right across the street from The Tonight Show set and 2-5 blocks away from Disney and Warner Bros. Studios. So it's like I'm there. Far as you know.
Special Thanks to Eugene again, for passing along my resume to the right peeps. He's grade-A, kids, and ladies...
And in a last bit 'o news, the reality show I worked on, I Can Make You Thin: With Paul McKenna premiers on March 16th at 9pm and then airs every Sunday night at 9pm for the next 5 weeks. If you need to drop a few lbs (pronounced "lubs"), it might help. I don't know. I never met the guy. Look for my name in the credits under, "Production Assistants."
Thanks for playing along, kids! :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Mile Stone
Hey, kids! So it's time to celebrate. No, I don't have a job yet. Or a girlfriend (that sounds more pathetic than it should but it stays!).
This blog, my blog, has just reached 15,000 views (or reads, for those who aren't just lookers)!
It's a pretty big thing considering it's just a MySpace blog that I haven't whored out. I haven't gone to strangers and said, "Read my blog..." and I haven't put up flyers or sent out e-vites or e-mails or done e-crack or e-blown anybody. I'm proud of that.
So hooray for me! Hooray for us ('cause you're reading this)! Hooray for internets! Hooray for Tom (maybe)! Hooray for America! Whoohoo... Ah... Okay... I'm done, I think.
But you should totally have a drink for me and my blog. Or fuck. Yes! Fuck on my behalf! Because someone should... That really sounds sadder than I am. I'm okay, romantically speaking. Worry not. But you should totally fuck. Everybody's doing it. Hehe...
I have to thank my subscribers. Butch, Chrissy, Danny, Dustin, Liz, Joanna, Amanda B., Jamaal, Chris, Caleb, Davinchi (whomever you are), and that crazy-bitch I dated around Christmas of '05. Thank you all. You're a big part of this. But you're not alone. Some folks who read but choose not to suscribe ('cause they're gangstas..?) are: Amanda M., Cecelia, Jasmin, Sean, Gerry, and Isaiah. Thanks youse. Anyone I'm leaving out should clearly present themselves more openly. Thank you all the same.
Hopefully, I can continue to kick ass and take names blog-wise. Hopefully, I will continue to be inspired to write stuff on here (and more consistently). Yes, I'm aware that that last statement practically asks for more terrible commercials and people to come to my attention. But fuck it. You gotta take the sour with the sweet. You've gotta eat shit every once in a while to truly enjoy a good steak (figuratively). But I'm not a big steak-guy, but I'm weird.
Anyway, thanks again, kids. Here's to ya. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbth!!!
This blog, my blog, has just reached 15,000 views (or reads, for those who aren't just lookers)!
It's a pretty big thing considering it's just a MySpace blog that I haven't whored out. I haven't gone to strangers and said, "Read my blog..." and I haven't put up flyers or sent out e-vites or e-mails or done e-crack or e-blown anybody. I'm proud of that.
So hooray for me! Hooray for us ('cause you're reading this)! Hooray for internets! Hooray for Tom (maybe)! Hooray for America! Whoohoo... Ah... Okay... I'm done, I think.
But you should totally have a drink for me and my blog. Or fuck. Yes! Fuck on my behalf! Because someone should... That really sounds sadder than I am. I'm okay, romantically speaking. Worry not. But you should totally fuck. Everybody's doing it. Hehe...
I have to thank my subscribers. Butch, Chrissy, Danny, Dustin, Liz, Joanna, Amanda B., Jamaal, Chris, Caleb, Davinchi (whomever you are), and that crazy-bitch I dated around Christmas of '05. Thank you all. You're a big part of this. But you're not alone. Some folks who read but choose not to suscribe ('cause they're gangstas..?) are: Amanda M., Cecelia, Jasmin, Sean, Gerry, and Isaiah. Thanks youse. Anyone I'm leaving out should clearly present themselves more openly. Thank you all the same.
Hopefully, I can continue to kick ass and take names blog-wise. Hopefully, I will continue to be inspired to write stuff on here (and more consistently). Yes, I'm aware that that last statement practically asks for more terrible commercials and people to come to my attention. But fuck it. You gotta take the sour with the sweet. You've gotta eat shit every once in a while to truly enjoy a good steak (figuratively). But I'm not a big steak-guy, but I'm weird.
Anyway, thanks again, kids. Here's to ya. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
SuperBall
Hey, kids! So how about that SuperBowl, huh? Wow. I didn't think that Eli Manning really had it in 'em. But I was rooting for him. Well, not so much for him as much as I was rooting against Tom Brady.
Seriously, fuck that guy.
He's got everything in the world going for him. He's a pro football quarterback, a really good one, every chick loves him, he knocked up an actress though he's dating a supermodel (and ALL women have given him a pass on this), he was voted "Best Dressed Man in the World", have I mentioned every chick loves him, he's won 3 SuperBowls, and will invariably be running the entire world by age 40. I bet he even does charity work on the side.
Seriously, fuck that guy. If I don't hate him, no one will.
That all being said, I was talking to the teller at the bank today (yay, I'm not sick!), and she said that this was the best SuperBowl she'd ever seen. I declined to comment because I knew I had an answer that was going to take serious thought to produce. Plus, it was 7-3 until the 4th Quarter. Really? Best Ever?!
So I've thought, and the best SuperBowl I've seen thus far was SuperBowl XXXII (that's 32 for the non-Romans) between Denver and Green Bay in San Diego. You all might remember it as John Elway's first win. That was a great game start to finish. Brett Favre and the Packers had won the previous year and were looking to repeat. They were also favored by 11 points (thanks, Wikipedia!). John Elway had failed to win a championship in 3 attempts and his career was winding down. The scoring went back and forth all game. Favre marches, then Elway marches. Field goals for field goals. Defensive turnovers back and forth, but not in a sloppy way. You've got Terrell Davis rushing well, but leaving due to migraines. Then returning and rushing well (earning MVP honors). And you've got "the helicopter."
Needing a score, Elway, by shear force of will (and no open receivers), makes a run for it and is met by two Packer defenders. He dives head-first and is spun around like a helicopter (see how that works), while also getting the first-down. You could just see how much he wanted it. They score 2 plays later and the Broncos eventually win 31-24.
Aside from the fact that I called the outcome the year before, it was a GREAT game. Back and forth. And scoring. Yes, scoring. So was this last SuperBowl the best? Pfffft. I mock thee.
Also, I really missed Prince's halftime show from last year. They should just have him on repeat. Like, remember how Billy Crystal always used to host the Oscars? That's what they should do. I love Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, but it just wasn't enough. Not for the SuperBowl. Though I will say that lead guitarist Mike Campbell has never looked more alive. Way to go, Mike!
There's something else I want to finish with here. Under Armor. They make shoes and cleats. What exactly do shoes and cleats go under? Or gloves for that matter? And if you wear an Under Armor shirt as a shirt, doesn't it then also fail to be Under Armor?! Plus, the Under Armor guy seems like a total douchebagel (trademark, bitches).
Goodnight, kids. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Seriously, fuck that guy.
He's got everything in the world going for him. He's a pro football quarterback, a really good one, every chick loves him, he knocked up an actress though he's dating a supermodel (and ALL women have given him a pass on this), he was voted "Best Dressed Man in the World", have I mentioned every chick loves him, he's won 3 SuperBowls, and will invariably be running the entire world by age 40. I bet he even does charity work on the side.
Seriously, fuck that guy. If I don't hate him, no one will.
That all being said, I was talking to the teller at the bank today (yay, I'm not sick!), and she said that this was the best SuperBowl she'd ever seen. I declined to comment because I knew I had an answer that was going to take serious thought to produce. Plus, it was 7-3 until the 4th Quarter. Really? Best Ever?!
So I've thought, and the best SuperBowl I've seen thus far was SuperBowl XXXII (that's 32 for the non-Romans) between Denver and Green Bay in San Diego. You all might remember it as John Elway's first win. That was a great game start to finish. Brett Favre and the Packers had won the previous year and were looking to repeat. They were also favored by 11 points (thanks, Wikipedia!). John Elway had failed to win a championship in 3 attempts and his career was winding down. The scoring went back and forth all game. Favre marches, then Elway marches. Field goals for field goals. Defensive turnovers back and forth, but not in a sloppy way. You've got Terrell Davis rushing well, but leaving due to migraines. Then returning and rushing well (earning MVP honors). And you've got "the helicopter."
Needing a score, Elway, by shear force of will (and no open receivers), makes a run for it and is met by two Packer defenders. He dives head-first and is spun around like a helicopter (see how that works), while also getting the first-down. You could just see how much he wanted it. They score 2 plays later and the Broncos eventually win 31-24.
Aside from the fact that I called the outcome the year before, it was a GREAT game. Back and forth. And scoring. Yes, scoring. So was this last SuperBowl the best? Pfffft. I mock thee.
Also, I really missed Prince's halftime show from last year. They should just have him on repeat. Like, remember how Billy Crystal always used to host the Oscars? That's what they should do. I love Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, but it just wasn't enough. Not for the SuperBowl. Though I will say that lead guitarist Mike Campbell has never looked more alive. Way to go, Mike!
There's something else I want to finish with here. Under Armor. They make shoes and cleats. What exactly do shoes and cleats go under? Or gloves for that matter? And if you wear an Under Armor shirt as a shirt, doesn't it then also fail to be Under Armor?! Plus, the Under Armor guy seems like a total douchebagel (trademark, bitches).
Goodnight, kids. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Where’m-I-at?
Hey, kids. I know it's been way long since I've blogged. I think it's because I don't stay on MySpace for very long when I check it. I might check-in 5 times a day but I might only spend a total of 1-minute online. But I do try to update my status regularly so keep your eyes peeled for those.
So what have I been up to? I've seen some movies. I watched Ratatouille. That was a lot of fun. And it was in HD so it was also "Grrrrrr..." That's a good thing. I also saw Black Snake Moan on DVD. That was pretty cool. There was nudity and that always helps.
Ah, but I also went to the theater, and I saw Juno. I enjoyed it. At times, Juno's dialogue is so snarky it's annoying but all and all, it was a quality film. Best Quote: "Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener." -Mac McGuff
After Juno, I snuck into Cloverfield. It was just like the good old days. Although, it was more stressful than necessary because the head of security (who had hair like predator) stood by the theater door, after I got in, until the previews started. But fuck him (or butt-fuck him, whichever you prefer)! I really enjoyedCloverfield. It was exciting; like a rollercoaster, a free fall, or a swift kick in the nuts. I had heard that it sucked so I was really surprised that I enjoyed the hell out of it. Go see it, kids. Don't pay either.
It should also be noted that The Orphanage was pretty good. There are 3 big scares for the women-folk and a general creepy feel throughout. The ending, I think, most could take or leave. Whateva.
Other than the movies, I've been pretty okay. Prior to my current cold, I was working a bit and having my share of fun. Due to the current cold, no fun is currently being had. That's the way that shit works, ain't it? Hopefully it's outta here soon. Seriously. I got no need for sickness.
Keep it real, homies. :-P Pbbbbbbbbth!!!
So what have I been up to? I've seen some movies. I watched Ratatouille. That was a lot of fun. And it was in HD so it was also "Grrrrrr..." That's a good thing. I also saw Black Snake Moan on DVD. That was pretty cool. There was nudity and that always helps.
Ah, but I also went to the theater, and I saw Juno. I enjoyed it. At times, Juno's dialogue is so snarky it's annoying but all and all, it was a quality film. Best Quote: "Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener." -Mac McGuff
After Juno, I snuck into Cloverfield. It was just like the good old days. Although, it was more stressful than necessary because the head of security (who had hair like predator) stood by the theater door, after I got in, until the previews started. But fuck him (or butt-fuck him, whichever you prefer)! I really enjoyedCloverfield. It was exciting; like a rollercoaster, a free fall, or a swift kick in the nuts. I had heard that it sucked so I was really surprised that I enjoyed the hell out of it. Go see it, kids. Don't pay either.
It should also be noted that The Orphanage was pretty good. There are 3 big scares for the women-folk and a general creepy feel throughout. The ending, I think, most could take or leave. Whateva.
Other than the movies, I've been pretty okay. Prior to my current cold, I was working a bit and having my share of fun. Due to the current cold, no fun is currently being had. That's the way that shit works, ain't it? Hopefully it's outta here soon. Seriously. I got no need for sickness.
Keep it real, homies. :-P Pbbbbbbbbth!!!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Can I just say something?!
"Freeze Frame" by the J. Geils Band is the worst song in the history of music.
It can be heard in the current Papa John's commercials (yes, it's that horrible fucking song).
It has also been heard in every dreadful collection of shitty video clips, a laAmerica's Funniest Home Videos.
It also screams into your head in every fucked up sports highlight reel that looks like it was shot by an epileptic, autistic child with a cell phone camera. Mind you, these highlights were likely shot before cell phones and despite the availability of far better quality equipment. And they still show them today. Seriously, try watching TV on a Saturday afternoon sometime. Look for shows with titles like "wacky" or "whacked out."
It's tragic and someone will die. Unfortunately, it'll be some poor sap with nowhere to go. He'll (no offense, ladies) probably have Dorito crumbs on his chest and socks with sandals on. He'll be looking for a game to watch and he won't find one. He'll see the word "sports" in the title and figure it's okay. And he'll succumb to the aural aneurysm that will slowly take his life. And he probably deserves to die, for whatever reason, but not in such a cruel way.
Because true justice would result in death, for J. Geils and his band.
Damn them. Damn them all to hell.
:-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
It can be heard in the current Papa John's commercials (yes, it's that horrible fucking song).
It has also been heard in every dreadful collection of shitty video clips, a laAmerica's Funniest Home Videos.
It also screams into your head in every fucked up sports highlight reel that looks like it was shot by an epileptic, autistic child with a cell phone camera. Mind you, these highlights were likely shot before cell phones and despite the availability of far better quality equipment. And they still show them today. Seriously, try watching TV on a Saturday afternoon sometime. Look for shows with titles like "wacky" or "whacked out."
It's tragic and someone will die. Unfortunately, it'll be some poor sap with nowhere to go. He'll (no offense, ladies) probably have Dorito crumbs on his chest and socks with sandals on. He'll be looking for a game to watch and he won't find one. He'll see the word "sports" in the title and figure it's okay. And he'll succumb to the aural aneurysm that will slowly take his life. And he probably deserves to die, for whatever reason, but not in such a cruel way.
Because true justice would result in death, for J. Geils and his band.
Damn them. Damn them all to hell.
:-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Monday, December 31, 2007
In Year-Ender...
1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR
Butch drinks a lot. Though I was rarely there to see it this year.
2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest known friend) -
Wayne. That crazy 'queen. 20 years, man…
3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
Matt and Ailin. They are warm hosts and they got me addicted to pumpkin carving. They're totally worth the 45 minute drive.
4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
I moved to L.A. It was very crazy. I finished my DVD for Fred's Friend (more copies still available). The movie played on TV.
5) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
My dog died. That blew, hard. Runner up: The Writer's strike. Hurry it up, guys!
6) BEST HOLIDAY?
Halloween. I had no idea that something could be both absurd and awesome.
7) YOUR SONG FOR 2007?
"Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World. Runner up: Every song Prince played at the SuperBowl XLI Halftime Show.
8) MOVIE FOR 2007?
300. Runners up: The Mist, Superbad, and American Gangster.
9) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
Probably myself, in an insomniac haze, and I probably didn't even know what day it was.
10) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
A doctor. Or I was a dental hygenist. It was so non-descript. But apparently it worked for somebody…
11) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR.
La Bella, as always.
12) KISS OF THE YEAR?
Every single one of them. Me gustan.
13) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
Well, I did decide to move to L.A. and that was pretty much a solid decision.
14) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Get this career thing started, you know. Or at least keep trying to do that. Once that happens, "Hello, ladies…"
15) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?
Making phone calls with your camera. It should be noted that this wasn't me.
16) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
What I look like, the Emmys?! The Daily Show and The Colbert Report were pretty solid all year though.
17) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
Amanda. She flew in from the U.K. and then drove down from LA to attend my birthday party. Did you do that?
18) BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG?
Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, Judge Larry Seidlin, Geraldo, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Mitt Romney, Rudy Guiliani, Glenn Beck, Jeremy from the TFM group, Fall Out Boy, The Jonas Brothers, Daughtry, Vince McMahon, Ryan Seacrest, Dick Cheney, and of course, George W. Bush.
19) BIGGEST WHOREBAG?
Besides your mother? Um… Britney, Lindsay, Nicole, Jamie Lynne, and Paris at the very least. Oh yeah, Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin. And Vanessa from A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.
20) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?
I don't think it's wise to make these. You don't keep them, so why set yourself up for failure? I have goals, but they're fluid and I'm cool with that. What are they? Fuck, I forgot...
Butch drinks a lot. Though I was rarely there to see it this year.
2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest known friend) -
Wayne. That crazy 'queen. 20 years, man…
3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
Matt and Ailin. They are warm hosts and they got me addicted to pumpkin carving. They're totally worth the 45 minute drive.
4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
I moved to L.A. It was very crazy. I finished my DVD for Fred's Friend (more copies still available). The movie played on TV.
5) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
My dog died. That blew, hard. Runner up: The Writer's strike. Hurry it up, guys!
6) BEST HOLIDAY?
Halloween. I had no idea that something could be both absurd and awesome.
7) YOUR SONG FOR 2007?
"Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World. Runner up: Every song Prince played at the SuperBowl XLI Halftime Show.
8) MOVIE FOR 2007?
300. Runners up: The Mist, Superbad, and American Gangster.
9) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
Probably myself, in an insomniac haze, and I probably didn't even know what day it was.
10) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
A doctor. Or I was a dental hygenist. It was so non-descript. But apparently it worked for somebody…
11) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR.
La Bella, as always.
12) KISS OF THE YEAR?
Every single one of them. Me gustan.
13) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
Well, I did decide to move to L.A. and that was pretty much a solid decision.
14) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Get this career thing started, you know. Or at least keep trying to do that. Once that happens, "Hello, ladies…"
15) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?
Making phone calls with your camera. It should be noted that this wasn't me.
16) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
What I look like, the Emmys?! The Daily Show and The Colbert Report were pretty solid all year though.
17) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
Amanda. She flew in from the U.K. and then drove down from LA to attend my birthday party. Did you do that?
18) BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG?
Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, Judge Larry Seidlin, Geraldo, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Mitt Romney, Rudy Guiliani, Glenn Beck, Jeremy from the TFM group, Fall Out Boy, The Jonas Brothers, Daughtry, Vince McMahon, Ryan Seacrest, Dick Cheney, and of course, George W. Bush.
19) BIGGEST WHOREBAG?
Besides your mother? Um… Britney, Lindsay, Nicole, Jamie Lynne, and Paris at the very least. Oh yeah, Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin. And Vanessa from A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.
20) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?
I don't think it's wise to make these. You don't keep them, so why set yourself up for failure? I have goals, but they're fluid and I'm cool with that. What are they? Fuck, I forgot...
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Without Fail
Hey, kids. I'm in San Diego for my last night of 2007. I leave tomorrow morning for the Bank of Bur and it feels like it's not a moment too soon.
See, I'm sick, again. Yes, again. I've been back to San Diego 4 times since I moved and I've gotten a cold and taken it back with me 3 times. I don't know what it is, but I apparently I'm sick of San Diego, or vice-versa.
Is something just going around? Is something just going around me? I don't have any answers.
I'm gonna have to start wearing one of those things Michael Jackson wears when he walks through the streets. Although, when I do that it won't be because I'm horribly disfigured by the self-hating mutilation that I've enacted on myself as a way of getting back at my abusive asshole of a father. I'll just be preventing colds (hopefully).
I appreciate everybody's cold-remedies. I'm not sure that they work but thanks for caring. Now I'm gonna go lie down and think about good things (boobs) and with any luck sleep this off.
Take care of yourselves, kids, because in a way, you're also taking care of me.
:-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Friday, December 7, 2007
There's NO TIME For This!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
A Shot At None
What is it, my babies? Quick job update: I still don't have one. I had 2 interviews last week. I got 0 jobs out of that. Granted, they didn't pay very well (in fact I nearly turned the first one down when I was called for a 2nd interview). The second had no area for creativity and well, they didn't call me back anyway. Oh well. I press on. The WGA strike ending could kinda help though, I'm just saying, guys...
Well, what happens when Aaron has no job, kids? He watches too much TV. And guess which show I know way too much about this time around?
A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.
Oh man, this show is reeeeediculous. First of all, I don't know any self-respecting guy or girl that would be a contestant on this show. Granted, many people did leave once the bisexual surprise was revealed. I mean, not only can you lose the girl to someone else, but you can lose the girl to another girl. As hot as that might sound, I can't imagine what that would be like. I mean, I've had it rough, romantically speaking, but I've never Chased Amy, so to speak.
Secondly, I can't be entirely sure how long these people have actually spent with Tila in real time, but my guess would be that 10 weeks of episodes roughly translates to 4 weeks. What's wrong about that is that several of the contestants have professed their love for Tila. LOVE. LOVE? LOVE?! LOVE??? If 4 weeks is all it takes for love to hit you, you're either desperate, insane, co-dependent, weak-willed, gonzo, bonkers, nutty-foo-foo, cuckoo for Choco Puffs, or all of the above.
And boy have there been some winners. There was a delusional stripper who attacked another contestant (for not getting voted off, surprisingly the stripper was) and there was a West Virginia farmboy who went apeshit after getting sent home, in episode 2! Let it go, buddy. You've always got sheep.
In the last episode, Tila went to the final 4 contestants hometowns and met with their respective families. In every instance, she told the parents of her bisexuality. Now, I have no problem with bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc., but it seems an odd thing to bring a girl home to mom and, regardless of her total sexual preference, having her tell my mom that she may leave me for a chick. Now, please correct me if I sound wrong on this, but if you're with me, you're not bisexual. Unless of course I've somehow spent my entire life as an oblivious hermaphrodite. I mean, doesn't the monogamy of the relationship negate the need or urge to be with other people, regardless of gender? Of course, Tila could still look at other women and desire them even (and so can I dammit). But my mom doesn't need to know that, especially not at your first meeting. I mean, save something for the holidays!
I just think if you're not actively swinging both ways (sorry for the overused metaphor), you're either one or the other, at least temporarily. I have no bisexual tendencies so like I said, correct me if I'm mistaken, but please respect my ignorance.
And one last thing, early on in the show, Tila eliminated a fellow-bisexual from contention. There seemed to have been some action between that girl and a male contestant but the reason Tila gave was because she couldn't be with a bisexual. It's good to know that hypocrisy doesn't discriminate. How selfish is that though?! It's like, "I can be attracted to both genders but you have to focus on me." That's pretty fucked up, if you ask me (and you will). But like I said, I wouldn't be on the show so what the fuck.
Anyhow, kids, I hope you're all good and staying away from most nude models/MySpace whores/Singers (well probably not Butch, but the rest of ya). Take care of your peepers. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Well, what happens when Aaron has no job, kids? He watches too much TV. And guess which show I know way too much about this time around?
A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.
Oh man, this show is reeeeediculous. First of all, I don't know any self-respecting guy or girl that would be a contestant on this show. Granted, many people did leave once the bisexual surprise was revealed. I mean, not only can you lose the girl to someone else, but you can lose the girl to another girl. As hot as that might sound, I can't imagine what that would be like. I mean, I've had it rough, romantically speaking, but I've never Chased Amy, so to speak.
Secondly, I can't be entirely sure how long these people have actually spent with Tila in real time, but my guess would be that 10 weeks of episodes roughly translates to 4 weeks. What's wrong about that is that several of the contestants have professed their love for Tila. LOVE. LOVE? LOVE?! LOVE??? If 4 weeks is all it takes for love to hit you, you're either desperate, insane, co-dependent, weak-willed, gonzo, bonkers, nutty-foo-foo, cuckoo for Choco Puffs, or all of the above.
And boy have there been some winners. There was a delusional stripper who attacked another contestant (for not getting voted off, surprisingly the stripper was) and there was a West Virginia farmboy who went apeshit after getting sent home, in episode 2! Let it go, buddy. You've always got sheep.
In the last episode, Tila went to the final 4 contestants hometowns and met with their respective families. In every instance, she told the parents of her bisexuality. Now, I have no problem with bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc., but it seems an odd thing to bring a girl home to mom and, regardless of her total sexual preference, having her tell my mom that she may leave me for a chick. Now, please correct me if I sound wrong on this, but if you're with me, you're not bisexual. Unless of course I've somehow spent my entire life as an oblivious hermaphrodite. I mean, doesn't the monogamy of the relationship negate the need or urge to be with other people, regardless of gender? Of course, Tila could still look at other women and desire them even (and so can I dammit). But my mom doesn't need to know that, especially not at your first meeting. I mean, save something for the holidays!
I just think if you're not actively swinging both ways (sorry for the overused metaphor), you're either one or the other, at least temporarily. I have no bisexual tendencies so like I said, correct me if I'm mistaken, but please respect my ignorance.
And one last thing, early on in the show, Tila eliminated a fellow-bisexual from contention. There seemed to have been some action between that girl and a male contestant but the reason Tila gave was because she couldn't be with a bisexual. It's good to know that hypocrisy doesn't discriminate. How selfish is that though?! It's like, "I can be attracted to both genders but you have to focus on me." That's pretty fucked up, if you ask me (and you will). But like I said, I wouldn't be on the show so what the fuck.
Anyhow, kids, I hope you're all good and staying away from most nude models/MySpace whores/Singers (well probably not Butch, but the rest of ya). Take care of your peepers. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
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