Statutory Glory

Hey, Kids!  Wow, I'm keeping this blogging thing up, aren't I?  Is good, I hope.

So the impetus for this blog is this new movie coming out called, 17 Again.  It's got Zac Efron in it, so I'll probably never see it but it got me thinking about other movies like Big, Vice-Versa, and Freaky Friday, movies where kids inhabit their parents bodies and, ironically enough, vice-versa.  It got me thinking about the scene in Big where Tom Hanks has sex with Elizabeth Perkins.  It's moderately hot.  I always thought she looked her hottest as Wilma Flintstone but there I go with my cavegirl fetish again... 

Anyway, the thing I got to thinking was: if he's really a 12-13 year old boy inside the body of a 30 year old man and he's having sex with a 30 year old woman, isn't that statutory rape?  I mean, emotionally speaking he's still a boy, while physically he's otherwise.  Isn't that what really counts in cases like that?  Because you'll have girls who're built like they're ready to go, I'm talking boobs out to here (see?) and ass for days (ya hear?), but they're not even 16.  You've seen 'em.  R. Kelly has (allegedly!).  Sexin' 'em up is wrong, right?  Consenting or not.  The law says so.  So did Elizabeth Perkins's character rape poor Josh Baskin?  Most would say no.  I don't know.

Let's say we reverse the situation, as in 17 Again, when an older person becomes young again by some magic (or WITCHCRAFT?!!).  If he nails a teenage girl, that's rape, right?  I would imagine so.  He's got knowledge beyond the young girl and reason that should tell him not to do it (literally).  So is that rape?  Would anyone notice?  Does anyone care?  Are you still reading this?

I guess the larger debate can become does age really define consent anymore?  We're so sexed up as a culture anyway, and likely, whether we know it or not.  People are having sex or engaging in sex acts younger and younger.  Not to say that that's all bad so long as it's safe,  and who's to say that people in our parents generation weren't doing the same (and not just homos, "doing the same," get it?)?  I know that there's a certain boundary where things go all wrong.  And to me there's even a line where two 18+ adults divided by too great an age difference is wrong too.  There are people who come into my work whom I assumed were father and daughter.  Assuming did it's usual work on me.  They're a couple and it's way gross!  I literally almost vomitted upon the knowledge.  But is that just me?  It could be.  I'm not taking a stance in either direction on this one.  I'm not advocating nor condemning, just openning the floor (blogatively speaking) for debate.  Reply, won't you?

On a lighter note: I've been watching Planet Earth on Discovery Channel (again, though in HD), and I've decided that Sigourney Weaver doing a voiceover of my life could make me seem a lot more interesting.  I'd like to hear her take on, "Here we see the Aaron snacking ferociously on White Cheddar Cheetos as he watches SportsCenter."  Or, "The Aaron spends countless hours playing Grand Theft Auto IV because his chances of mating are slim on a weeknight such as this."  I think she could bring a real humanity and gravitas to that bit of truth.

And there you have it.  I think this a real return to form, kids.  What do you think?  Ah well, whatevs.  :-P    Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!