Hey, Kids! Wow, I'm keeping this blogging thing up, aren't I? Is good, I hope.
So the impetus for this blog is this new movie coming out called, 17 Again. It's got Zac Efron in it, so I'll probably never see it but it got me thinking about other movies like Big, Vice-Versa, and Freaky Friday, movies where kids inhabit their parents bodies and, ironically enough, vice-versa. It got me thinking about the scene in Big where Tom Hanks has sex with Elizabeth Perkins. It's moderately hot. I always thought she looked her hottest as Wilma Flintstone but there I go with my cavegirl fetish again...
Anyway, the thing I got to thinking was: if he's really a 12-13 year old boy inside the body of a 30 year old man and he's having sex with a 30 year old woman, isn't that statutory rape? I mean, emotionally speaking he's still a boy, while physically he's otherwise. Isn't that what really counts in cases like that? Because you'll have girls who're built like they're ready to go, I'm talking boobs out to here (see?) and ass for days (ya hear?), but they're not even 16. You've seen 'em. R. Kelly has (allegedly!). Sexin' 'em up is wrong, right? Consenting or not. The law says so. So did Elizabeth Perkins's character rape poor Josh Baskin? Most would say no. I don't know.
Let's say we reverse the situation, as in 17 Again, when an older person becomes young again by some magic (or WITCHCRAFT?!!). If he nails a teenage girl, that's rape, right? I would imagine so. He's got knowledge beyond the young girl and reason that should tell him not to do it (literally). So is that rape? Would anyone notice? Does anyone care? Are you still reading this?
I guess the larger debate can become does age really define consent anymore? We're so sexed up as a culture anyway, and likely, whether we know it or not. People are having sex or engaging in sex acts younger and younger. Not to say that that's all bad so long as it's safe, and who's to say that people in our parents generation weren't doing the same (and not just homos, "doing the same," get it?)? I know that there's a certain boundary where things go all wrong. And to me there's even a line where two 18+ adults divided by too great an age difference is wrong too. There are people who come into my work whom I assumed were father and daughter. Assuming did it's usual work on me. They're a couple and it's way gross! I literally almost vomitted upon the knowledge. But is that just me? It could be. I'm not taking a stance in either direction on this one. I'm not advocating nor condemning, just openning the floor (blogatively speaking) for debate. Reply, won't you?
On a lighter note: I've been watching Planet Earth on Discovery Channel (again, though in HD), and I've decided that Sigourney Weaver doing a voiceover of my life could make me seem a lot more interesting. I'd like to hear her take on, "Here we see the Aaron snacking ferociously on White Cheddar Cheetos as he watches SportsCenter." Or, "The Aaron spends countless hours playing Grand Theft Auto IV because his chances of mating are slim on a weeknight such as this." I think she could bring a real humanity and gravitas to that bit of truth.
And there you have it. I think this a real return to form, kids. What do you think? Ah well, whatevs. :-P Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Pope You!
Hey, kids! Wow, 2 blogs in a week. I'd like to say get used to it, but perhaps I'm just bored. Perhaps that's the wrong word. Maybe I'm just lonely and a little bored which in the past (and by past I mean 10 minutes ago) led to snacking. It also usually leads to nail-biting. Well, you're in luck tonight because I'm out of fingernails.
So I heard on the Daily Show tonight that the Pope visited Africa and made a speech declaring that condoms (and the active dispersal programs and use thereof) don't prevent AIDS and have actually contributed to the spread of the disease. Now, first of all, I want to ask where he gets his evidence? What science has he employed to come up with this? Oh yeah, he doesn't believe in science. And facts, well, he's probably not a fan of those either. Hell, facts will tell you that he was a Nazi before he was the Pope. But I'm not here to talk about the past.
Secondly, how can a man who has never even used his dick claim to have any expertise as a sexual educator? Not that you've gotta be a whore to teach about sex, but you can't be a fuckin' unich either. And he's certainly not a doctor. If he'd had years of study in microbiology, chemistry, anatomy, and sexually transmitted infections/diseases then maybe he could talk. But no. All he is is an 81 year old virgin in dainty robe, trying to tell other people how to use their "naughty" parts.
I just think that this is another example of the Catholic church's irrelevance in the modern world. If you want to believe in God, by all means do so, but by no means should you take what that joker (or Poper?) says as gospel. I think it's both irresponsible and heartless to go into a nation (I know Africa's a continent) that has been ravaged by AIDS and to say what he said. The people listening may see him as an authority figure, so he should have to be accurate with his facts and he clearly is not. Go back to the Vatican and your silly castle with your silly guards, and leave living to those who actually do it. Hehe, do it...
Alright, so lighter note time:
I was thinking that spelling bestiality the way that it's written probably gives the wrong impression of the act. Like, it's not BESTiality, you know? What would it hurt to add an "A" to it. At least it'll look more like how it's pronounced. Maybe I'm weird.
How many mystery/sooth-seeing movies is Nicolas Cage going to star in? Nextmeets National Treasure equals Knowing.
Speaking of repetitive plots, why is there another mall cop movie coming out? First Paul Blart, now Observe And Report. I don't get it.
Hmmm, well, that's it for now. Till next time (whenever that is). Take it sleazy. :-P Pbbbbbbbth!!!
So I heard on the Daily Show tonight that the Pope visited Africa and made a speech declaring that condoms (and the active dispersal programs and use thereof) don't prevent AIDS and have actually contributed to the spread of the disease. Now, first of all, I want to ask where he gets his evidence? What science has he employed to come up with this? Oh yeah, he doesn't believe in science. And facts, well, he's probably not a fan of those either. Hell, facts will tell you that he was a Nazi before he was the Pope. But I'm not here to talk about the past.
Secondly, how can a man who has never even used his dick claim to have any expertise as a sexual educator? Not that you've gotta be a whore to teach about sex, but you can't be a fuckin' unich either. And he's certainly not a doctor. If he'd had years of study in microbiology, chemistry, anatomy, and sexually transmitted infections/diseases then maybe he could talk. But no. All he is is an 81 year old virgin in dainty robe, trying to tell other people how to use their "naughty" parts.
I just think that this is another example of the Catholic church's irrelevance in the modern world. If you want to believe in God, by all means do so, but by no means should you take what that joker (or Poper?) says as gospel. I think it's both irresponsible and heartless to go into a nation (I know Africa's a continent) that has been ravaged by AIDS and to say what he said. The people listening may see him as an authority figure, so he should have to be accurate with his facts and he clearly is not. Go back to the Vatican and your silly castle with your silly guards, and leave living to those who actually do it. Hehe, do it...
Alright, so lighter note time:
I was thinking that spelling bestiality the way that it's written probably gives the wrong impression of the act. Like, it's not BESTiality, you know? What would it hurt to add an "A" to it. At least it'll look more like how it's pronounced. Maybe I'm weird.
How many mystery/sooth-seeing movies is Nicolas Cage going to star in? Nextmeets National Treasure equals Knowing.
Speaking of repetitive plots, why is there another mall cop movie coming out? First Paul Blart, now Observe And Report. I don't get it.
Hmmm, well, that's it for now. Till next time (whenever that is). Take it sleazy. :-P Pbbbbbbbth!!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Can You Say It?
Hey, kids! Been too long, I know. But whatever, we're here and I'm ready to dazzle.
So, the impetus for this blog is the commercials that are on late at night on cable. Perhaps you've seen the ads for such brilliant products as Xtenze and The Vibrating Touch. I don't necessarily have a problem with the products themselves, although I don't think that any product can give a dude a long-dong. My problem is with the fact that in both of these ads they can't say what the product does, nor what effect they have. They skate around it and use implications and innuendo (in your end-o) with phrases like "certain part of a man's body" and "It's good for a relationship, let's put it that way."
I'm not exactly sure which is the most egregious in leaving out what its product does. The Vibrating Touch ads do mention that it's a fingertip massager. But they do fail to mention where to stick it. I guess you could let your imagination run wild and let it mean whatever sick and depraved thing you can think of. But most people would likely use it to work the clit. There certainly are merits to that...
Xtenze ads can't even mention what part they affect. "Male enhancement" and "make you larger" is all they say. Know what else can do those two highly vague things: Donuts. I could be "enhanced" and "made larger" by any series of complex carbohydrates and fats. I had 2 California Burritos this weekend alone! Who needs a pill?
I realize that some words still aren't sayable on TV, though the list has shortened since Carlin first brought it up. But simple medical terms should be okay to say without being classified obscene. And it's not like the ads air at noon. They're usually on after midnight when most people who'd blush at the terms are long asleep.
So my proposal is this: If you can't say what your product does, you shouldn't advertise it in that medium. There's always men's and women's magazines. Imagine if the Shamwow commercials couldn't mention what a Shamwow does. Vince would be so bored. What if the Snuggie ads couldn't mention sleeves? Or they couldn't show how a Snuggie makes you look like a backless wizard? It'd be retarded. But whatever, maybe I'm the tard. I doubt it but I'm open to the possibility.
Hey! Anyone see Watchmen? Wasn't that awesome???
On the opposite of the spectrum was The Jonas Brothers 3-D. Wow, that thing is tanking. And that couldn't be more awesome. Fuck those dudes. Not literally though, because apparently their cocks belong to Jesus. On that thought, why lend your cock to a priest, save it for the savior. Okay, I don't know about that one.
This blogging thing is harder to get back into than I thought. Perhaps "dazzle" was too lofty a goal. I'll work on it, if I get around to it.
Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully, I'll have a bit more soon, but hey, one blog every three months is good enough for you, you Faceboogers (eh, I could do better than that). :-P Pbbbbbbth!!!
So, the impetus for this blog is the commercials that are on late at night on cable. Perhaps you've seen the ads for such brilliant products as Xtenze and The Vibrating Touch. I don't necessarily have a problem with the products themselves, although I don't think that any product can give a dude a long-dong. My problem is with the fact that in both of these ads they can't say what the product does, nor what effect they have. They skate around it and use implications and innuendo (in your end-o) with phrases like "certain part of a man's body" and "It's good for a relationship, let's put it that way."
I'm not exactly sure which is the most egregious in leaving out what its product does. The Vibrating Touch ads do mention that it's a fingertip massager. But they do fail to mention where to stick it. I guess you could let your imagination run wild and let it mean whatever sick and depraved thing you can think of. But most people would likely use it to work the clit. There certainly are merits to that...
Xtenze ads can't even mention what part they affect. "Male enhancement" and "make you larger" is all they say. Know what else can do those two highly vague things: Donuts. I could be "enhanced" and "made larger" by any series of complex carbohydrates and fats. I had 2 California Burritos this weekend alone! Who needs a pill?
I realize that some words still aren't sayable on TV, though the list has shortened since Carlin first brought it up. But simple medical terms should be okay to say without being classified obscene. And it's not like the ads air at noon. They're usually on after midnight when most people who'd blush at the terms are long asleep.
So my proposal is this: If you can't say what your product does, you shouldn't advertise it in that medium. There's always men's and women's magazines. Imagine if the Shamwow commercials couldn't mention what a Shamwow does. Vince would be so bored. What if the Snuggie ads couldn't mention sleeves? Or they couldn't show how a Snuggie makes you look like a backless wizard? It'd be retarded. But whatever, maybe I'm the tard. I doubt it but I'm open to the possibility.
Hey! Anyone see Watchmen? Wasn't that awesome???
On the opposite of the spectrum was The Jonas Brothers 3-D. Wow, that thing is tanking. And that couldn't be more awesome. Fuck those dudes. Not literally though, because apparently their cocks belong to Jesus. On that thought, why lend your cock to a priest, save it for the savior. Okay, I don't know about that one.
This blogging thing is harder to get back into than I thought. Perhaps "dazzle" was too lofty a goal. I'll work on it, if I get around to it.
Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully, I'll have a bit more soon, but hey, one blog every three months is good enough for you, you Faceboogers (eh, I could do better than that). :-P Pbbbbbbth!!!
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