Burlesque than what I Seeque

Hey, kids!  Well, I am on a blog-role lately, aren't I?  No one's complained yet so here I again:

I don't get, and never have gotten, the appeal of the Pussycat Dolls.

First of all, the name.  It's a singular noun, followed immediately by a plural noun.  That can't be right.

But mostly, I don't understand burlesque in any way, shape, or form.  Here's what I'd be thinking if I happened to stumble into a show:

"Oh, wow.  That girl's hot."

"Oh hey!  She's dancing around, girating and whatnot.  Nice!"

"Ooh, she's taking off her clothes.  Naughty-naughty."

"Hey wait!  She stopped taking off her clothes?!  Aww, and she was just getting to the best part!"

"Ha-rumph!"

See?  Complete dissatisfaction.  I mean, last I checked, you could go to any town in America, hell, the world, and see a full-on strip show.  A lot of places you can see some really freaky shit too but I'm a simple man with simple tastes.

So again, I'm not getting the point of a show that only goes part of the way.  It's like going to a buffet that only serves one course.  Or a movie that only shows the trailers.  I don't get it.  Why in a world where you can get everything, would you choose to be tantalized, get essentially nothing, and like it?

It's like the internet in a way.  EVERYTHING is on here.  ANYTHING you could ever want or imagine is ALL a click away.  And yet, you choose to activate a parental blocker, and you don't even have kids!

Another example I would offer happened after I watched The Fantastic Four on HBO one night.  It was so awful, I felt compelled to write a bulletin extolling my distaste for that celluloid catastrophy.  And a friend from high school replied to it and said, "But, dude, Jessica Alba's is in her underwear, man!"

To which I was like, "I'm on the INTERNET!  I can do so much better than that in, say, 2-keystrokes."  You've got to be kidding me.  And this coming from my peer, from the generation of extreme sports and THE INTERNET.  And yet I'm supposed to be pacified with Jalba (a nice, easy abbreviation) in her skivvies?!

So I'm wondering if burlesque is maybe some sort of anti-porn.  To which I say, "Fuck you!  Porn's great, sometimes." 

Is it supposed to be artsy?  'Cause seriously, it's just a chick sloshing around in a giant martini glass.

And in a way, isn't it just "dumbing-down" and making stripping more acceptable to the populace (hehe, it has the word "lace" in it)?  'Cause isn't that a "bad thing?"  I really don't have an answer to that 'cause I likes the female nudity.

Being that I was an avid supporter of all things Carmen Electra, I ask these questions.  And the last thing I want to be doing at a strip-show is scratching my head.

Ponder that shit, kids!  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

So Not Laughing

Hey, kids!  So I just got done watching my good buddy Zach Braff host SNL and I must say that that show really blows hardcore, like to mooseball proportions. 

I'm not kidding.  I've seen better writing on a bathroom stall.

It's sad really.  I remember the good old days when you could be home on a Saturday night and catch some pretty good comedy.  It's not that way anymore.  Hasn't been for a long time.

Fred Armisen is the only funny cast member and he's not in every sketch.  So for 5-minutes at a time, you might have to sit and listen to the dude fromGoodburger jabber on while desperately seeking the means to a quick and painless demise on your own couch.  Sure, you could just change the channel but hanging yourself from a ceiling fan seems much more appealing for some odd reason.  It's horrendous.

And what the fuck is Darrell Hammond still doing around?!  What are you like, 50?!  What characters do you do again?  Bill Clinton, Sean Connery, Jesse Jackson?  Way to stay modern man...

In the name of all that is decent, NBC, please don't renew this show.  For the good of your network, and for the good of good comedy.

I have spoken my peace.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Ain't No Party Like A TFM Party

Hey, kids!  It feels like I'm always apologizing for the sporadicness of my blogs, so I'm not going to apologize this time.  You'll get my blogs when I give 'em to you and you'll like it!

That being said, obviously it's been tough-times since my last post and some time was needed for me to work through that.  On top of it all, I just haven't had all that much to say (I probably say that a lot as well, sweet irony).  But I had an eventful night and here are some highlights:

I got off my lazy ass and went down to SDSU for the TFM Film Festival.  When I got there, there were TONS of people.  And thusly, they ran out of food and drinks at the precise moment that I reached the front of the line.  Who knew?!

I should also mention that they ran out of programs, which I really like to have when I write a blog like this or for general nostalgia's-sake.  Needless to say, that was a bummer.

A lot of people I knew were there, mixed in with a seemingly greater number of people I'd never seen before.  Omar (Jim) was there and I contend that because of the sheer number of times we've run into each other lately, he is stalking me or vice-versa.  Erik the Clay-Bo was there, talking sound stuff as if he was the only man left on Earth that still had ears.  I think that's a compliment but whatever.  Jamie was there as well.  It was very much a meeting of the "It's been too long since I've seen you" club on all counts.

The biggest reception I got was from Rose.  I have never seen such enthusiasm for me before and I hardly imagine I'll see it again.  But such is Aaron...

Anyway, so I sit next to Rose ('cause I like being welcomed) and the festival starts off with some awards-giving.  I must be honest and say that I had hoped to hear my name called for something but alas, nothing.  In fact, nobody from last semester's group got anything and I think that's a real shame.  It's not like there aren't people who deserved awards, it's just a stupid timing thing that the department heads don't get.  Not everybody who deserves to recognized graduates in the spring!  It's SDSU!  You're lucky to ever graduate, in a timely fashion, with registration being what it is.  I think that this is a big dropped-ball that I hope gets changed for the sake of future students.  Then starts the movies...

I must say it started off rather slowly.  I had heard many rumblings (and grumblings) about what films didn't get in, so it was a shock to me to see the kind of films that led off the festival.  It wasn't till maybe halfway through that things really started to pick up.

Now I can't recall everything I saw, so no one should be offended by a non-mention (although, I won't mention the films I didn't like, I'm just respectful like that).  Okay, now that I think of it, I can't recall much of anything.  I know that Alyssa's film, I. Hero, was pretty well done.  Everything John Kaiser and Trevor Fernando touch, as directors, is gold.  Angel and Colby (whom I call Colbert, 'cause I really like the idea that Colby is an abbreviation) both did masterful jobs as DPs (hehe, DPs).  Nick and Jesse's latest project, The Apparatus, was their finest to date.  There was also a film that Angel shot that had, Dan Feraldo the priest from my film, Good Lord, in it.  That was very nice to see.  Bicycle Lovewas really funny.  The Letter (I think it was called???), starring Ted Reis, who I worked with on Sean's film, Digits, was hilarious.  And finally, the festival ended with like a Tim Burton-style parody of the TFM dept. by Humberto Garcia.  It had a Greg Durbin parody and a great GP impersonation!

All in all, I would say that the festival was a good one, though I feel like room could've been made for some of the films that got left out.  I mean, come on, no Todd Smith films?!  Anyhoo...

Then came the everlovin' after party, again hosted by Drew Dorsey.  Wow, a lotta drinkin' went on.  I had 2 bottles (glass bottles, from Mexico apparently) of Coca Cola.  Man, I was wasted.  Pretty much everyone from the festival was there and so I got to have many conversations with people I otherwise might not have or to this point hadn't.  And that was really the great part about the whole night.  I met and re-met a lot of great folks that reaffirm that SDSU can be a fine place to make some movies.  Also, being at a Denny's till 5am never hurts.

Next up: Graduation!  Till then, kids.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Good Girl, Mish

Mishu (1991-2007)

Bye-bye, Bear.

Rock-'Git!

Hey, kids!  Sorry about the lack of bloggage lately.  I've been pretty busy with 2 different film shoots and so I haven't had a ton of free time to get out my thoughts.  As I type, I'm awaiting the arrival of my parents from their aforeblogged Carribean cruise.  There's an anticipation in the air.  The doggies can feel it.  Can I just mention here that coming home from a 14-hour shoot, on 3 and half hours sleep, to find that one of the dogs peed on your bed is more than just a little infuriating?!  Sometimes, woman, you make me so mad...

Anyhoo, the real reason I'm feeling the need to write is because of recent sports news.  Roger Clemens has "finally decided" to come back and play for the Yankees again.  Now here's the part that really bothers me:

28 MILLION DOLLARS!!!  FOR ONE FUCKING YEAR!!!  HE WON'T EVEN PITCH TILL LATE MAY!!!

What the fuck, kids?!  This Roger Clemens retire-comeback-get paid ridiculo- game is really wrong and it's ruining baseball.  Retire your old Texan ass and STAY AWAY!  Or don't retire!  Not both!

He's turning the sport that I love into a ludacris sweepstakes of money and hired-gunnery.  What ever happened to being on a team?  You know, for thewhole year?  Spring training, road trips, etc.  Clemens doesn't even have to hang out with the team if he doesn't want to.  He can fly home to Houston on non-pitching days.  No sitting around in the dugout and cheering on his "brothers" on a nightly basis.

Now I'm not question his skills in the slightest.  He is one of the best pitchers of all-time.  No question.  And at 45 years old, he is still a force.  I'll try to ignore the fact that he puts Icy-Hot on his balls on gameday so he doesn't get comfortable.  I really wish I hadn't heard that a few weeks ago.

And the money... Well, god love the money.  Is it too much to pay anyone, for anything?  Yes.  But if someone's stupid enough, take it.

My problem lies in the fact that, beyond not having to be a team player, the Yankees didn't have to do any actual work to put together a team.  Brian Cashman, their GM, should be commended for signing Clemens and then immediately fired for putting together a pitching staff so full of holes that they would need to call in a 45 year old man.  And Clemens isn't bulletproof.  He's battled hamstring problems in the last 2 years.  I'm not saying that they should've spent more, they should at least have to be smart.  As far as I'm concerned, they shouldn't be shocked by any of the injuries they've sustained as a staff.  Their Opening Day starter hadn't pitched 10 games in 2 years!

It's bullshit that any team should have the option of waving phat-green at a guy on the sidelines because they fucked up.  Nobody else had a shot.  Nobody.

I do think Clemens needs to let go.  He's got nothing to prove.  He says he wants to watch his kids grow up and play.  Do that, man.  You've earned it already.  Think of all the people who can't do that.  They've gotta work in a factory, they can't retire until 65, and can't get a day off to see their kid play.  It's just bonkers.

That's my opinion.  What'chu'got?!  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!