I need a Hambone

Hey kids!  It's been two days since my last blog and these are my sins (Catholics know what I'm talking about here)...

Actually, I have no sins to speak of (at least in the last 2 days) but I have been thinking of random things.

First thing is, I need a friend called, "Hambone."  I'm just saying I think it would be and is the coolest to be telling someone a story about something that happened and when you get to the part of the tale when you say who else was there, you're like, "...And Steve was there, and Ray, Hambone..."  You know what I mean? 

Plus, you get to yell over to someone, "Hamboooooooone!"

Now, I don't know of anyone actually being named Hambone so I just have to be able to give a friend that as a nickname.  So I'm accepting volunteers, who wants to be Hambone?  You must have a good reason though, you can't just say, "Sure, I'll be Hambone."  Oh no, you gotta want it.  Come up with a story as to why I call you Hambone.  It'll save me the trouble of making one up.  I'll be waiting for your Hambone applications, so send 'em quick.

Now, well wait, that was actually the extent of my random thoughts, unless I forgot the others.  But it's random enough for me and it should be for you as well.  And why am I the one with all the random thoughts anyway?  Where are yours, hmm?  Bet you're feeling real guilty now, aren't you?  Serves you right.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

The Bill Buckner of Love

Hey kids.  Events in my life have, yet again, taken a turn askew.  This has caused me to believe that I am the Bill Buckner of Love.

Some of you may not know who Bill Buckner is.  He was the first baseman for the Red Sox in the '86 World Series.  The Sox were 1 out away from winning the title, when a soft ground ball was hit to Buckner.  He put his glove down but the ball snuck through his legs.  The Mets won the game on that play and then went on to win the World Series.  Buckner's misplay has gone down as one of the worst in baseball history.

Now how does this relate to me?

I could just be a quack but I feel like in the game of love, I am Bill Buckner.  I'm a good guy, just as Buckner was a good player.  Things just don't work out sometimes.  And it haunts us.

I've done everything I can, I think.  I've gotten my glove dirty, and yet, the ball (or love, in this case) still gets by me.  No special reason.  No funny hop.  It just gets passed me.

Like Buckner in the Series, I know that the World Series isn't nearly over.  In his case, it was only Game 6.  They could've won the next game.  In my case, I'm only 23 and there's a lot of life left to live. 

But the fact remains that the ball was right in front of me, I did what I could, and now it's passed me by. 

I don't know when the next ball will come.  I sure there will be another. 

But right now is about recovering from this one.

Mr. Crappy Pants

Hey kids!  So I've been doing some soul searching (instead of blogging, I know, you've missed me) and I realized that I am too cynical.

See, I've been listening to the words that have come out of my mouth the past few weeks (you should try it sometime, it's fun) and much, if not all of it, comes out in a negative way.

There may be some of you, blogfans, reading this going, "No shit!" or "Doy!" and asking your monitor (because I'm not in front of you) if I even read my own blogs; because then it would be obvious to me [Aaron].

Believe me, kids, I read the shit out of my blogs.  I'm an anal editor (there's a movie title).  But the point is that I've always rationalized my cynicism by stating that life is about standards and when things don't meet them, I should point them out in order to cause positive change, and to preserve the things that do meet the standards.  There's nothing really wrong with that.

But the way I go about it may be wrong, I'm finding, and I fear the thought of becoming an alienator and/or a douche.  I don't want that, you don't want that.

Don't worry, I'm not going to become a republican or anything.  I just want to focus more on the positive things in life as opposed to ripping the negatives a new asshole when I see them.

I need to stop correcting people when they misspeak (unless it's funny), and I need to stop overthinking the minute details of every event of every day of my life (unless they're funny).

There's part of me that says, "Well, Aaron, you stud, this is who you are."

And there's another part of me that says, "Aaron, you stud, what do you have to be bitter and complain about?  Life is good (minus the reoccurrence of old stomach ailments)."

So I'm actually kind of torn now that I think about it.  What do YOU think?  Am I too negative?  Seriously, I want YOUR opinions, like some sort of radio call-in show.  Let me know, I'm not a mind reader.  In fact, I'm kind of an idiot.  :-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

The Mark of the Beast

Hey kids!  Well, if you haven't noticed, or it hasn't been shoved down your throat by some quasi-know-it-all, today is 6/6/06.

666, get it?

And I find it more than fitting that, of all days, it's Election Day.

And I'm glad.  I am so tired of all the commercials and today marks the day that they will finally end.  The logical fallacies released in those ads make me quite angry.  What's worse is some people actually believe what they hear in those ads.  Or do they?  I don't want to underestimate my fellow Americans but afterall, look who was elected to run this nut-house.

I didn't vote today.  Again.

I just don't care.  There's nothing on the ballot that affects my life.  I want my congressman to be re-elected cause I think he's a good dude but if he doesn't, will anybody notice?  Probably not.

You can call me what you want for not voting, I could care less.  The process is broken, the system is useless.  You make your own breaks in life, for the most part.  And the things that really need fixing, aren't on the ballot, ever. 

Ending poverty and homelessness: Not on the ballot.  There's no money in it.

But they want 4 year olds in preschool?  Oh yeah, that'll fix us.  Let kids be kids.  I turned out alright.

In the meantime, we should all just try to be nice to each other.  That's my advice.  We're in this together, and the government ain't in it with us.  Also, avoid Walmart if you can. 

Now, being that it is 6/6/06, I'm gonna go prance around my living room wearing red horns.  Just for a minute, just to see how it feels...

:-P  Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!!!

Work Doodles Vol. 2

Hey kids! So I was at work today and I got bored and drew you all something very special.

Don't worry. The animal is not on drugs this time.

It's a very happy drawing, as I am a very happy Aaron.

So here you go and enjoy: